


Across the Hall

by KatyasConsort



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Lesbian AU, cis girl au, neigbors, trixya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-12-02 19:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11515782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatyasConsort/pseuds/KatyasConsort
Summary: Trixie's roommate is very loud when doing the do. Trixie leaves and gets stranded outside her apartment. Her Russian neighbor just happens to have room in her bed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This should be fun! I like this idea a bunch, let me know if you'd want more, always feel free to drop a comment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie says she's unlucky. Katya would say that Trixie is very lucky.  
> Communist flags, cigarettes, taxidermy oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should be fun! Please comment.  
> Thank you for reading!  
> <3

“Oh my fucking god, Pearl!” Trixie shouted loudly, banging a fist on the plaster, her pink painted nails leaving little spots of color. She glared at the wall, pissed off for about the sixth time. Pearl had her girlfriend over, again. Loud moans were echoing through the small apartment, and not even her Dolly Parton, which her earbuds played beside her on her bed, could drown off the sound of Violet going down on her roommate yet again and the obscene noises that came out of Pearl.

“How many fucking times…” she muttered, and put down her phone on the pink duvet, grumbling quietly to herself.

Trixie stood up, grabbing a jacket and pulling it over her leggings and cropped t-shirt. She snatched her phone and wallet off the bed and stuffed them in her jacket pockets, slamming the door to her room as she walked out.

Trixie didn't bother telling Pearl she was leaving, she caught up in the throws of passion, and honestly, she didn't want to walk into that kinky bitch’s room. God knew Violet was into all sorts of weird stuff.

Trixie closed the door to the apartment, glancing down at her phone. It was late. She had work the next day. And she couldn't fucking sleep. Violet and Pearl were fucking up a storm and she couldn't do it anymore. Trixie leaned against the wall, looking at the door to their apartment, the welcome mat below it. People had stolen it at least three times in the year they'd lived here, Trixie kept replacing it for some reason.

She closed her eyes for a second, leaning her head back for a moment. She was tired, and she wanted to sleep, maybe she could drive over to Fame’s… that was across town though. Trixie felt around in her pocket for a moment, finding her wallet, her phone, her headphones… no keys.

“Shit…” Trixie muttered quietly and grumbled slightly when she banged on the door, shouting Pearl’s name loudly. 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Trixie sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, knowing for sure that it was a mess. Now she was in the hallway, makeupless, keyless, and utterly and completely done. Trixie sat down on the ground, glaring down at the ugly linoleum floor. It was sticky and she really didn't like it.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts, wondering if she wanted to call anyone. Trixie knew it was late, and most of her friends would probably be asleep. She tried Kim, calling twice before giving up and putting her phone down on the ground, staring up at the ceiling and at the light fixtures that gave off dull, yellow light.

A door to her right opening caught her gaze, or more, the platform jelly sandals that walked out of the apartment did. Trixie stood up quickly, brushing off her legs and looking over at the blonde woman who was standing in front of her. Her hair looked almost as good as Trixie’s at two in the morning on a Wednesday night, or morning. She had unreasonably high cheekbones, and her lipstick, though slightly smeared, was bright red. She had a small hand clipped into her choppy bob, and was staring at her unabashed, having leaned down to grab an amazon box that looked like it contained a shoebox.

“What are you doing loitering outside my apartment?” She asked, and Trixie didn't realize for a moment that not only was she speaking to her, but that Trixie had basically been sitting directly to the side of her doorway. The woman had a thick accent, and she guessed Russian, but she couldn't be sure, her words sounded both American and Foreign.

“Oh- I’m-” Trixie gestured to her apartment. “I’m your neighbor. My name is Trixie.”

You live over there?” She asked, and held the box against one of the ugliest black dresses Trixie had ever seen.

Trixie nodded.

“Then why’re you over here?” She seemed confused, her eyebrows squished together on her forehead.

“My roommate has her girlfriend over… they've been going at it for an hour and I locked my keys inside, no one will answer their phones- what’s your name?” Trixie said. 

The woman ignored her and glanced at the door, her door, looking down at the welcome mat, then back at Trixie. 

“You aren't going to rob me?” She said carefully, looking Trixie over.

Trixie shook her head quickly.

“You can come in if you'd like.” She said after what seemed like an awful long moment of thinking, and she took a step back to let Trixie past.

Choices. She could wait outside the apartment for an undetermined amount of time, or she could go into her strange neighbors apartment and hopefully not get murdered by a small baby hand, or strangled by a necklace that looked to be made of cigarettes.

“Thanks.” Trixie said, and smiled briefly at her, following her inside the apartment.

It was dark inside, except for a couple small lamps around, the windows were thrown open wide, even though it was definitely winter. It was colder than the hallway and she looked over at the woman, raising an eyebrow.

She wasn't paying any attention, having already sat down on the couch and had begun to wrestle with the box she’d been carrying, a large knife appearing out of nowhere.

Trixie knew she probably looked more than a little alarmed. “What's your name?” She asked, and hovered near the door still.

Katya looked up, appearing confused. Perhaps she'd forgotten she let another person into her apartment. “Katya.” She said simply after a long moment of silence. “That's my nickname.”

Trixie nodded and smiled slightly.

“You can sit down if you want.” She said, and Trixie’s eyes stayed trained on the large knife that the woman- Katya, held in her hand. 

“Oh-” Katya put the knife down quickly on the small table. Trixie smiled again, and it was a little less nervous. She walked over to the couch and took a seat beside her. 

“What'd you get?” Trixie asked, and looked at the box.

“Oh-” Katya was grinning over at her, and she looked slightly insane, but somehow Trixie found that it was contagious, and she was somehow smiling too.

Katya pulled open the box and took out a mess of what looked like raccoon fur.

“What do we think?” She asked, and put the what Trixie figured out to be a hat on her head.

“Oh my fucking god.” Trixie said, and let out a cackle, looking up at the hat on Katya's head. There were googly eyes. It was a raccoon hat. It was raccoon skin. On her head.

“Here-” Katya laughed and pulled the hat off and put it on Trixie's head. “It looks better on you-” she said, and pulled on the little hands that hung on either side of Trixie's face.

“Oh- I don't think so-” Trixie said, and pointed at the necklace that Katya was wearing, holding onto it gently. “This however-” she grinned. “This is incredible.” 

Katya smiled slightly. “You can't smoke them, sadly. I don't know how many times I've wished I could smoke these.” Trixie raised an eyebrow carefully. “You know those’ll kill you.” She said with a mocking tone and laughed a little. 

“But mother-” Katya started, using an oddly low voice, that made it sound like she smoked ten packs a day, which she could've, Trixie didn't know. “I want them to kill me.” She continued, and though Trixie heard some of the truth in that, she still laughed, and so did Katya, wheezing and flailing her arms.

The frigid breeze came in and Trixie shivered and so did Katya, she quirked an eyebrow. 

“If you're cold why're the windows open?” She asked. And she reached up to gently hold onto the little hands of the raccoon. 

“I like being cold.” Katya said, and Trixie had decided that by that time, that she very much liked Katya, and Katya's accent, and her, she liked her. “It makes my nails blue, and I think it looks interesting.” She added easily, and looked over at Trixie.

“I can close them- if you'd like.” She said, and Trixie nodded a little. 

Katya stood up and the skirt of her dress brushed Trixie's ankles when she moved past. 

Trixie rested her chin on the heel of her palm, looking over the back of the couch at the other woman as she moved carefully around the apartment. Katya closed the windows and soon it was a little less cold, or at least there wasn't wind.

Trixie watched Katya as she came back over to sit on the couch. “Where are you from?” Trixie asked, and crossed her legs up on the couch, looking over at the other woman. 

“Russia, originally.” Katya said, and nodded a little. 

“My parents sent me over when I was about ten, eleven, somewhere in there, and I lived in Boston until college.” 

That certainly explained the odd accent. Trixie nodded at her and smiled a little. 

“What about you, кукла.” Katya grinned at her as the heavy sounds fell easily off her tongue. “It means doll.” She added after a moment, smiling still. “You look like a doll.”

Trixie felt her cheeks heat up entirely too much for one complement. “Thank you.” She said, and smiled back at her. “I'm from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.” She nodded a little as Katya stared right back at her with an entranced look on her face. 

 

“A small town?” She asked, and raised an eyebrow.

“Small enough.” Trixie said with a shrug. “I moved away early though, probably before I should've.” She smiled at Katya for a long second, oddly, admiring her teeth. They were very white, and very pretty with her lipstick. 

Katya nodded right back at Trixie and crossed her legs, and she found that she couldn't keep her eyes off of her. 

“You can stay the night.” Katya added after they'd sat in comfortable silence for a while. “I mean, your roommate didn't sound like she'd be finishing anytime soon.” Katya smiled slightly. “You can stay in my bed, I could take the couch.” She said to her, and Trixie rolled her eyes. 

“Absolutely not, thank you for letting me stay, but there's no way I'm letting you sleep on the couch.” Trixie said and looked at Katya. 

Katya looked right back at her with a raised eyebrow. “You got cold, you should stay in the bed.” She said matter of factly.

“It won't be warm if it's just me.” Trixie said after a moment, and raised an eyebrow in response.

Katya looked at her curiously, perhaps figuring out that Trixie had been badly flirting with her for the past hour.

“Both of us in the bed?” She asked, and looked at Trixie, who nodded, smiling softly at her. There was a look in Katya's eyes that Trixie couldn't ignore. 

Suddenly the room felt a whole lot warmer, and Trixie dropped her hands back down from where she'd been toying with her long hair, fiddling with it between her fingers. 

“Sounds fine to me.” Katya said after a second, and stood up quickly. “Do you need something to sleep in?” She asked, and gestured to Trixie's outfit, mostly to the pink jacket around her shoulders and the fringe that hung off.

“That would be very nice.” Trixie replied, and stared back at Katya with a somewhat confused countenance. The woman somehow was making her feel quite warm, while also asking about pajamas, and she'd never been more conflicted. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted Katya to kiss her back. But she couldn't even tell if she was interested.

“Come on then.” Katya said, and stood up abruptly and led the way to her room. The apartments were two bedroom, and she wondered what happened to be in the room a door over. Trixie followed behind the platform jelly sandals, into an equally dark room that was decorated in red tapestries on the walls and an equally red bedspread over a large bed. On the wall, along with the large scarves, what looked like a large Russian Communist flag. 

“That's impressive.” Trixie said, and stood in front of the flag with wide eyes. She felt slightly out of place, dressed in pink and pastel blue, yet she didn't want to leave, and she found herself looking back over her shoulder at Katya. 

The woman was rummaging in her closet, shoes kicked off to the side, her dress hanging off one of her shoulders, showing pale skin that seemed almost as if it was glowing in the low lighting.

Katya glanced back at her, seeing her expression and snorting. “Quite.” She said in a simple reply. “I bought it a couple years ago- I'm not communist. I just like how people react.” She turned and handed her a t-shirt and some shorts. “You have to admit, it really pulls the room together, the colors and such.”

The Russian looked around the closet for another moment, eventually with a tight looking tank top. “I can change in the bathroom, if you’d like some privacy.” 

Katya said to her. And Trixie could sense a slightly mocking tone, even without seeing the smirk playing at her lips.

“No- I don't mind.” Trixie said, and as she kicked off her shoes, wondered exactly how all of this had happened. How she had ended up in her neighbor’s apartment, both of them partially flirting before they got in said neighbor’s bed, where she was evidently going to spend the night.

Trixie pulled off her jacket in the chair in the corner, then her shirt, and put the other on, and looked back over at Katya. She was half dressed, sitting cross-legged on her bed, blatantly staring at Trixie. The other woman didn't seem to have much or any shame when it came to looking at her. Not that Trixie minded that much, it had been a good bit since anyone looked at her, let alone looked at her like she was desirable.

“Enjoying the view.” Katya said simply, and Trixie, standing there in a t-shirt and her underwear, felt her face heat up about twenty degrees. She hastily pulled the shorts on, not breaking eye contact. She raised an eyebrow and Katya smiled again. She pulled her dress off, unabashed as she sat there, bare chested, looking at her.

“Me too.” Trixie said after a moment. Her face was still warm, and she had to work to keep herself from letting her gaze migrate down to Katya's breasts. The Russian turned her head to the side, raising her eyebrow as Trixie had done moments before.

Katya laughed slightly and pulled her shirt on, shaking her head for a second.

“Tracy, you've got to take me to dinner first. I'm a high-class woman.” Katya tossed the other over in the general direction of her closet and the mess of clothes that lay in the bottom, all seeming to be clashing colors and prints.

Trixie decided in that moment that she would be taking Katya to dinner. She didn't know when, but she would, and honestly, she was tired. Trixie pulled her hair up into a bun and secured it with a hair and from her wrist.

By the time she turned back from the mirror, Katya was sprawled out on the bed in a tank top and her black underwear, still surprisingly unabashed. She pulled the top sheet over herself, and Trixie realized then, that despite her diligent night of laughing and smiling and making conversation she really was going to have to take Katya for dinner. She didn't mind, though it made her roll her eyes. Trixie got into the bed, turning on her side and looking at the Russian woman who was looking right back at her.

“Does it have to be dinner before we fuck? Or does making out come without a menu and price?” Trixie asked after careful thought, her eyebrows furrowing. Katya seemed to think for just about as long as Trixie had, reaching up to run her fingers through her hair, fixing her bangs messily.

“I think we could probably make out.” Katya replied after far too long, nodding to herself.

Trixie grinned at her and continued her stare. 

“You'll probably have to learn my actual name.” Trixie said, as she leaned over, getting closer to her as Katya turned to lay on her back, smiling easily.

“I know your name, Stacy.” Katya replied quietly as she sat up just a little, a steadying hand on Trixie’s chin as she leaned in to kiss her. Trixie hummed against her lips and leaned over, finding that she very much wanted to be closer Katya, who was beautiful, in her tank top in the middle of winter, and her Communist Russia flag hanging in her bedroom. 

Trixie leaned over Katya, and in turn Katya scooted down on the pillow to let Trixie move over her. The Russian deepened their kiss and pushed her tongue into Trixie’s mouth after biting gently at her bottom lip. She broke away to breathe for just a moment, smiling significantly more than she had been before.

Katya smiled right back at her for just a second before she all too easily flipped them over, pushing Trixie to the side gently with a firm grip on her shoulder, and settled on top of her, toned thighs straddling her hips. Trixie smoothed her hands over her muscle, taking away one of her hands to reach up, pulling the other woman down closer to her. 

Katya braced her weight in her hands on either side of Trixie’s head as they kissed, and she dug her nails gently into the woman’s bony hips. Katya bit her lower lip again before her mouth moved from her own to her jaw, and then to her neck, where she felt Katya sucking a slight mark near her collarbone.

She liked Katya’s thighs, how she squeezed Trixie’s between them, and how blatantly strong the Russian woman was. She found her terribly irresistible, and Katya may have found her that way as well. Trixie tangled one of her hands in Katya’s short hair, pulling gently, and that seemed to earn her something, as Katya hummed against her jaw. 

It was a little awkward, because Katya was bony, and Trixie never knew what to do with her hands, especially in bed, but neither of them seemed to mind. Their only inhibition being the need to breathe which Trixie cursed every time they had to break away from each other.

Katya breathed out quickly against her cheek, now slightly beside her, one of her legs over Trixie’s. She was taking a few breaths, looking up at the ceiling with half lidded eyes. 

Katya suddenly spoke, sitting up a little looking even more disheveled than she'd appeared when Trixie had first seen her. “I need a..” she muttered, and Trixie knew that she probably wasn't talking to her. Katya reached across her and grabbed the pack of cigarettes on the bedside table along with the lighter. She climbed over Trixie and moved over to the window. 

“See-” she said, and rested the cigarette between her swollen lips. “I’m a good host-” she winked and opened the window the smallest bit to blow smoke out. Trixie turned on her side and watched Katya for a long while as the glow from the little lamp in the corner and the glowing embers she held in her mouth illuminated her face. The other woman spoke with the stupid thing hanging from her lips, and Trixie didn't know where the conversation had gone after a minute or two. But it seemed that Katya just needed someone to nod at her, and laugh at her jokes, which Trixie was more than happy to do. 

She finished off the cigarette and put it out in the little ashtray on the windowsill. Trixie watched as she went to the bathroom, the muscles in her legs clenching as she moved. 

When she came back Trixie was pretty sure she'd fixed her hair and brushed her teeth. Most of her makeup was gone too, and Trixie thought she looked like a very attractive raccoon. She turned out the lamp and got back in bed, automatically putting her freezing feet on Trixie’s calve. She jumped and shot a half hearted glare the woman's way, she didn't move away though.

In a surprising and very unsurprising gesture, Katya reached out, her chipped red nails glinting in the light from the street, and pushed back hair from Trixie’s face. She smiled after a second and turned the other way after a moment, murmuring goodnight.

Trixie couldn't keep the grin from her face, even though she was smiling in the dark, listening to the sounds of cars and shouting people walking home from the club, as well as the evening out of Katya’s breathing. The smell of cigarette smoke lingered in the air even though Katya had tried to breathe it out the window, the gesture was still pure, and Trixie didn't mind it much at all. 

“Goodnight.” She responded softly, a little late, and reached down to pull the rumpled bedding over the sheet, looking at the shape of Katya’s head against the pillow. She was already asleep. And Trixie got to soak the moment in, as long as she could, before exhaustion overtook her as well, and she drifted off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it, or if you didn't.  
> Thank you for reading!  
> <3

Trixie woke up in a daze in an unfamiliar bed. Sheets pooled around her ankles, and a slight breeze brushing over her back. She opened her eyes slowly, looking around, trying to remember exactly where she happened to be. The communist flag fluttering from the open window caught her gaze again and she ran a hand over her face as the events of the previous night flooded back to her.

Trixie sat up carefully and took down her bun, allowing her hair to cascade down her shoulders messily. She looked around the room and down at her shirt, finding it had some sort of Russian saying on it. The room smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, and Trixie figured that was why the window had been left ajar. She laughed slightly, to herself because Katya was nowhere to be found and couldn't laugh with her. Trixie stood up and fumbled with the sheets and blankets, making the bed in an unkempt fashion before she walked to the bathroom, bare feet quick on the cold laminate. 

She looked like a mess, and there was a hickey on her neck. Trixie’s eyes narrowed in the mirror as she brushed a finger over the tender spot. How Katya had managed to give her a hickey without her knowledge, she’d never know. Trixie grabbed Katya’s brush and tried to tidy the top layer of her hair. She should've known better. Her hair puffed up slightly and she pulled the frizzy parts back into a bun, leaving the rest down. Trixie splashed her face with some water and proceeded to change into her own clothes, folding the ones she’d borrowed and leaving them neatly on the bed. 

Trixie put on her shoes, buckling the little strap of the sandals and standing up after a moment. She managed to find her jacket and stuffed her things in the pockets’ seeing a missed call from Pearl earlier in the morning. She must've realized what happened at some point after Trixie failed to return to the apartment. 

Trixie left her jacket off but put it over her arms, glancing around the room again before walking out of the bedroom, the heels of her sandals making a quiet sound on the floor. She looked over curiously into the living room, finding that during the day, it was flooded with natural light, and though the harsh reds and blacks were still there, the little room was flooded with sunlight as well as wind from the open windows and all of it made everything, including the woman on the floor, look softer. Her cheekbones didn't seem as severe, her makeup was gone, and Trixie liked that she could actually see her eyes, not just a mess of black eyeliner, though she found that endearing too.

Katya had a yoga mat rolled out on the ground and was moving into downward dog. She'd put on some leggings but was just wearing her tanktop. She glanced up, perhaps hearing Trixie walking into the room. She grinned and hurriedly stood up, running a hand through her damp hair in a somewhat awkward fashion. She looked nervous, and Trixie felt nervous.

“Good morning.” Trixie said after a pause of silence. She smiled.

“Good morning.” Katya said back, and Trixie realized, that barefoot, Katya was a couple significant inches shorter than her.

“Did you sleep okay?” Katya added, and Trixie nodded and smiled. “My- uh, roommate finally called me. Thank you for letting me stay over.” Katya smiled a little in return. “Any time, кукла.”

Trixie shifted between feet for a long moment and looked at Katya. She was slightly smiling but the silence seemed to stretch on far too long. The room that had been freezing seemed to get warmer very quickly.

“I made coffee-” Katya started, and looked hopeful for a moment, looking back at her. “No-” Trixie started, and watched at the woman’s face fell, emotions there for a split second before she was back to smiling, it didn't reach her eyes. “I should head back, thank you, Katya.” Trixie smiled somewhat apologetically and hoped Katya knew she hadn't intended on hurting her. 

Trixie looked her for another moment and watched as Katya's gaze focused on her neck, she opened her mouth, beginning to speak, Trixie smiled again, her default, and hurried out of the apartment, shutting the door, the smell of cigarettes and cheap herby candles clinging to her as she leaned against the wall outside Katya’s apartment, not unlike she had the night before. She took a deep breath in and ran her fingers through her hair, pulling her jacket over her neck carefully. Maybe Pearl wouldn't notice. She scoffed as she opened the door. She would, Trixie was screwed.

Trixie closed the door behind her gently, hoping to god that that apartment was quiet, that Pearl and Violet were asleep, or had already gone out. She was not generally a lucky person. 

“Did someone go out?” Came Pearl’s smooth voice from the couch. Trixie glared at her and put her keys down. 

“You locked me out.” She said, and glared again, this time at Violet who was perched on the arm of the couch, on her phone.

“Looks like you got lucky,” Violet said, without glancing up. Trixie realized her jacket had moved to the side, great. 

“I got-” she trailed off and took off her jacket. “I don't know what I got…” she muttered, and spared the pair of them another look before she went to her room. She just wanted to sleep, or do anything other than think about Katya. She'd been rude when she left. She'd seen the hurt on her face. Maybe she had been the nervous one after all, even though Katya had originally thought Trixie was going to burgle her home.

Trixie sat down on her bed and pulled off her shoes, looking at her phone for a second, hoping that maybe Kim would text her and keep her mind off things. About how she screwed things up with a woman she actually liked, and how she'd enjoyed the night before, how she liked going to sleep beside her, and how Katya had looked at her, and how much she’d liked watching her smoke in her underwear.

She sighed for the third time that morning as she saw the time. She had to get ready for work. Trixie stood up and glanced at her face in the mirror, frowning a little. She didn't look great.

Trixie did her face, pinning her hair back and taking out her makeup. Soon she was done, freshly curled hair bouncing just below her shoulders. Her makeup was fine, and she hadn't had the energy to cover up the hickey on her neck, but she'd wear a scarf or something, no one would notice.

She grabbed a skirt and a nice top from her closet, both were pink, and she liked them a little too much. Trixie buckled a white belt around her waist and searched around for her white pumps and the scarf. Once she put them on she was a good four inches taller, looking more than professional for a makeup counter. But she was dressing for the job she wanted, being an actual makeup artist, not the job she had, working at sephora.

Trixie got her bag and crammed her stuff into it, sure to put her keys on top, even though if she left them it would've been a great excuse to drop by her favorite neighbor’s apartment again. Trixie checked herself in the mirror once again, running her pinky nail over the edge of her bottom lip, stopping the lipstick from bleeding.

She ignored Pearl’s comment about how she looked nice, figuring that if she wanted to be mad at anyone but herself Pearl and Violet would be perfect.

Her gaze lingered on the door across the hall, hoping that maybe Katya would come out, and she'd get to smile at her again. But the door stayed still, and it remained silent in the hallway. Trixie lingered there for just a second before she made herself walk away, back down the hallway, into the elevator, and importantly, away from Katya’s apartment.

Trixie’s day passed slowly, and she hated herself for zoning out, finding herself staring off into space, leaning her chin on the heel of her hand, thinking about Katya, and how much of an idiot she’d been, rather than actually working or trying to aid helpless people in doing their eyebrows or contouring.

When she finally clocked out it was eight in the evening, and her feet were hurting but that was normal. Her coworkers, though they knew something was probably wrong, hadn't done or said anything. That had been a relief. But she’d felt guilty all day, a feeling twisting in her stomach and making her smile only briefly at her boss.

Trixie got in her car, sitting in the stillness for as long as she could stand, leaning her forehead on her hands atop the steering wheel. What the hell was she doing. Making out with her neighbors, getting torn up about a woman she didn't even know… Trixie let out a long sigh and started the car, keeping the radio off and rolling down the windows. It was cold out, but she didn't mind, it reminded her of Katya’s living room at night, with the breeze and the sounds of cars, the faint smell of cigarettes.

Her drive home was too long, and she found herself wishing she could teleport. That would solve the traffic problem as well as the Katya problem. She almost wished they'd met in some other way, maybe Tixie bumped into her outside the building, or at the coffee place down the road. Then maybe she wouldn't have been such as asshole or an awkward idiot.

Trixie parked her car and grabbed her bag from the passenger seat, throwing it over her shoulder and walking the way inside the building, muttering a curse word for a second as she searched for her phone. Finally she found it, at the bottom of her bag, and looked for anything. A text from Kim, asking if she was okay, one from Fame asking if she wanted to get dinner the coming weekend. She got in the elevator and replied yes hastily, tapping with her short, pink nails on the screen for just a moment. 

The door opened and she shoved her phone back in her purse, walking down to her apartment and searching for her keys that somehow ended back at the bottom of her purse again. She fumbled with the lock and glanced over her shoulder at a noise. It was Katya. And the woman was staring at her. She'd realized then that her first impression with the wonderful woman had been lounge clothing, no makeup, and messy hair. She must've looked different.

Katya looked different. She was wearing a red skirt, a black t-shirt tucked in that had some ineligible saying on it, and a black jacket that had fringe on it. She had a hand hair clip in her hair, but it had been brushed neatly. She was back to being less short, and though Trixie was taller, Katya had on black Mary Janes that buckled around her ankles. Her makeup was immaculate, she no longer looked like a raccoon. But like a very attractive woman.

“Hey-” Trixie started, and Katya kept looking at her. She looked hurt, and Trixie didn't know what to say for a few moments. 

“I’m sorry about this morning.” Trixie found herself saying, and her eyebrows furrowed. Katya kept looking at her. 

“It’s fine.” She said after a second, and she wasn't smiling. “No- it’s not-” Trixie began, and Katya pursed her lips. “I really had a nice time- I was an asshole.” She paused, taking a breath. 

“I’d like to take you to dinner,” Trixie paused again, “Not because I want to get in your pants- well,” Katya raised an eyebrow and looked at her. “Well I do- but I want to get to know you.” Trixie finished and looked expectantly at her. 

“I’m not wearing pants, кукла.” Katya said after a second, her lips twitched and she looked down at her skirt. “But you can meet me here tomorrow, around eight.” She smiled fully.

“Okay.” Trixie said, and smiled right back, moving to turn around. 

“And-” Trixie fumbled with her bag for a second, getting a pen and some old recept, scrawling her number on it and handing it over. Katya took it. 

“Tracy-” Katya added, and she turned back expectantly.

“Wear tall shoes, they make your legs look very nice.” Trixie felt her face heat up quickly and nodded before going inside, smiling again at Katya before she shut the door and leaned against it.

She was smiling, a little too widely, and her feet seemed to hurt a little less. Pearl was at the table, Violet nowhere to be found. 

“Good day?” She asked, glancing up from her laptop.

Trixie nodded and smiled a little.

“Oh, Trix- sorry about locking you out.” Pearl added, and she looked remorseful, with her eyebrows pulled together, tucking a leg underneath her.

“Don’t worry about it.” Trixie said after a second and reassured her with a soft expression. 

“Pizza for dinner?” Pearl called as Trixie walked back to her room. “Sounds good.” Trixie said over her shoulder, and her phone made a noise in her purse. She pulled it out and kicked off her shoes, seeing an unknown number was calling her.

She answered and leaned back against the pillows. 

“Stacy!” Shouted a knowing accent, and she grinned. She could hear the sound of Katya’s heels on the sidewalk. 

“You might need to learn my name sometime soon-” she started, and Katya laughed loudly, it made her grin when she started talking, her voice so animated, even just through the phone. She could tell it was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are happening my dears. Let me know if you want more. This can either be a beginning or an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do we want more?  
> Please comment, thank you for reading!  
> <3

Trixie was making her way home from work, her heels were a little lower than they'd been the day before. She'd anticipated how uncomfortable she’d be if she had worn stilettos. So espadrille wedges it was. And they matched her dress, which she had so trendily thrifted from a far-too expensive thrift store. It was pink, and floral, and made her think of summer and spring, even though the world still apparently wanted winter. She was done with it. She'd begrudgingly grabbed a jean jacket on the way out. Even though most people were wearing sweaters and jackets and pants, she wasn't going to resort to wearing jeans because it was almost forty degrees outside. 

Her phone began to ring in her pocket and she paused outside her car for a moment to grab it, answering.

“L. Ron Hubbard, Dianetics incorporated, Stacy speaking.” She said, and smiled to herself as she unlocked the car, holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder.

“Hey Trix.” 

Trixie pursed her lips, rolling her eyes. 

“I don’t think I've ever heard you say my full name.”

“I like nicknames-” Katya said, sounding just a little whiny.

“I know.” Trixie said back easily, and she started the car. “Are we still good for tonight, Barbara?” She asked, driving with one hand, finally reaching up to hold her phone.

“Yes.” Katya said easily, and Trixie heard her out slowly. She was smoking.

“Did you need to tell me something?” She asked, and was slightly confused as to why Katya was calling her.

“Not really, I just wanted to talk to you, is that okay?” She sounded just a little nervous, and Trixie found herself smiling again. “I know we don't know each other that well, I was bored, and you're a very interesting person.” Katya trailed off.

“Oh- of course, that's fine.” Trixie said, and there was a moment of silence in which Trixie was trying to turn, and Katya was exhaling again.

“Are you driving?” Katya asked, and Trixie nodded before realizing that she was on the phone, and Katya couldn't see her. 

“Yeah- I’m on the way home right now.” She said, and took another turn. 

“What do you do?” She asked, and Trixie realized then that they didn't know anything about each other, not really. 

“Well-” Trixie said, and thought for a second. 

Katya cut her off. “What do you do? And- what do you want to be doing?” She added, and Trixie made the decision that she liked both that question and Katya very much.

“I work at sephora, I'm the asshole who does people’s makeup.” She said, and smiled briefly. “But I want to be a makeup artist.” 

Katya hummed in what Trixie assumed to be approval. 

“What about you?” Trixie asked in response.

Katya scoffed and sighed. “Well- I work at a bookstore, the one literally down the street from the apartment building. But I want to be a writer.” She said, and Trixie could hear the smile in her voice. “But you never know, I might finally get hired at the body farm, I've been applying for years.”

Trixie laughed lightly, she could imagine Katya smiling at her own joke, looking out the window, or sitting on her couch, cigarette held between her first and second fingers. 

“Oh-” Katya said, and she heard another quick exhale. Her voice went down about another octave, and it impressed Trixie. “What're you wearing-” She asked, and Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Thats forward, for a high class woman.” She shot back, and smiled again. “No, tonight you cunt.” Katya said, and she laughed loudly.

Trixie thought for a long moment, glancing down at her current outfit. “Like a floral dress, some heels-” Katya interrupted her. “Because I said I liked them?” She asked, and Trixie answered a knowing yes.

She could see Katya smirking in her head as she turned into the little parking area. She rolled her eyes but couldn't help but feel more than slightly excited for their evening.

“Oh, and a jean jacket.” Trixie added, and listened to the silence coming from the phone. “Katya?” She asked, and the woman hummed in response.

“I didn't know if you were there,” she said, and got out of the car, stuffing her keys in her pocket. “Still here, just mentally trying to prepare myself.” Trixie’s eyebrows furrowed. “For what?

“You.” Katya said simply.

“Is that a good thing?” She asked, and walked up the stairs, straightening her jacket on her shoulders.

“A very good thing, you're very pretty, кукла.”

Trixie smiled softly and spared a look across the hall to Katya’s door. 

“Thank you.” She said quietly, and unlocked the door to her own apartment.

“You're here-” Katya exclaimed, and she could hear her standing up quickly from wherever she’d been perched. 

The door to Katya’s apartment opened, and then it was the two of them, looking at each other like idiots.

Katya was wearing a long red dress. It brushed her ankles. And Trixie couldn't help but wonder why she didn't wear anything that showed her legs. She had very nice legs. She had on her jellies again, and Trixie thought she looked marvelous.

“Hey.” Trixie murmured, a soft expression on her lips.

Katya smiled. “Hey.” She said, and she was smiling widely at her. 

Trixie was still holding her phone to her ear and so was Katya.

“I’ll see you at eight?” Trixie asked, and was still smiling.

“Seven-thirty?” Katya replied. 

“Seven-thirty.” Trixie confirmed. And she grinned.

They stood there for another second.

“I’ll see you then,” Trixie finally said, and she slipped in the door. There was a silent moment before she finally heard Katya’s door close. She realized then that she hadn't hung up the phone.

She held it against her ear as she walked back to her room, waving at Violet and Pearl, who were tangled up on the couch. Violet smiled slightly and continued her slow petting of Pearl’s head in her lap. She seemed to be asleep. 

Trixie used to be jealous of them, and she honestly didn't know when either of them worked. Or how Pearl payed rent, she never went in… but she wasn't so jealous now, she had a date, with an attractive Russian woman who liked taxidermy and platform sandals.

She was impressed with herself.

Trixie glanced down at her phone again.

“You still there?” She asked carefully. “Yup.” Katya replied, and Trixie grinned. “I'm putting you on speaker,” She said, and set the phone down on her bedside table while she went on her hunt for shoes.

“Katya?” She asked, and got a hum again. 

“Does white or pink go with my dress?” There was silence. 

“The one you were wearing?” She asked. “Yeah.” 

“I’d go with pink.” Katya said after careful consideration.

“Yeah, me too.” Trixie said over her shoulder, and grabbed the pink pumps from the bottom of her closet in the little shoe organizer at the bottom of her closet.

Trixie took a seat on her bed and put on the shoes, looking over at the phone briefly, then up at the white crown molding. 

“How was your day?” She asked, and reached out for the phone, putting it down beside her.

“It was okay.” Katya said, and she heard her sit down again. “Yeah, we got some new shit. I had to put it on the shelves.” She sounded bored, and Trixie didn't blame her. She wasn't sure how exciting working at a bookstore could be. “Why do you work there if you hate it?” She asked.

“It’s that obvious?” Katya asked, and cackled. “Well, working is good for the soul, Tracy. And when I applied I, a naive little rat, thought there’d be some sort of publisher knocking at my door in minutes… I’m of course, a terrible slow writer. And no one really likes that, publishers don’t anyway.” 

Trixie nodded slightly. “I thought I’d be successful by now, twenty-four and I'm living in the same apartment I got when I turned twenty.”

“You live with a couple, right, blondie and that skinny praying mantis?” She asked. “Yeah, Pearl, she’s my actual roommate. Violet’s her girlfriend. She doesn't live here but it’s only a matter of time I guess.” 

“They fuck a lot. Right?” Katya asked, and Trixie laughed, closing her eyes for a second. “Every goddamn night she’s over here.” Trixie said, and let out a loud sigh. “And they’re loud, and gross.”

Katya laughed and she heard her wheezing.

Trixie stood up for a second and walked to her vanity, grabbing some lipstick and putting it on carefully.

She went back to the bed and glanced at the phone. “Hey, only ten minutes and we can see each other.” Trixie said, and thought for a moment.

“Where are we going, by the way, tonight?” Trixie asked, running her fingers briefly through her hair.

“Well-” the other woman began. “I was thinking, there’s this new place down the street. It looks really hip and cool, like us.” She said, and Trixie scoffed. “I may not be hip and cool.” She admitted, and Katya laughed. “It’ll be nice. And there’s drinks and stuff, dont worry.” 

Trixie nodded, and perhaps Katya knew she had. Neither one of them said anything for a long while. When Trixie looked back down at her phone, glancing at the time. 

“Hey,” she said finally, and stood up. “I’m going to hang up, only because I’m going to see you in like ten seconds, and because we’re acting like teenagers.” 

Katya huffed a small laugh. “See you then.”She replied, and Trixie could hear her smiling.

Trixie hung up and grabbed her jacket, putting it over her arm and looking in the mirror one final time. She looked good. Or she thought she did, hopefully Katya would agree. 

Trixie crept by the couch, where both Pearl and Violet had drifted off, all tangled up. The television still going. She didn't know how they fell asleep at seven thirty, knowing Violet, she’d probably wake up Pearl at nine and they would actually go out. Go to a club, or wherever they hung out, Trixie had no idea. 

She locked the door behind her as she stepped out into the hallway, meeting Katya, who was lingering on her side of the hallway, a black bag over her shoulder. Her hair was neater than Trixie had seen it, ever. And she had a very large and slightly terrifying grin on her countenance. 

“You look excited.” Trixie said, and Katya nodded a little. “It’s because I am excited.” She replied simply. 

“You look very nice.” Katya said, and gave her a blatant once-over of her look, eyes lingering on her shoes.

“You look-” Trixie shrugged and glanced down quickly. 

Katya cackled. “You know I look good, bitch.” She said, and they started their walk down the stairs.

Trixie held the door open, and Katya thanked her. It was cold, and the wind was a little too frigid for her liking, so Trixie put her jacket on. Katya, with her long sleeved thin dress, didn't look uncomfortable. But she noticed that Trixie did, and she offered her her hand. Trixie smiled and took it.

Katya’s hand was warm, not cold and clammy like it had been the night they'd been together. It confused her slightly but she was thankful for the warmth.

“I like your dress.” Trixie said, and smiled a little, looking over.

Katya smiled in response and her teeth were white, really, really white. Her lipstick wasn't smeared, her eyes looked smoky and very nice. If she wasn't mistaken, Katya wasn't wearing lashes, which meant her eyelashes were naturally that long. It made her heart beat a little quicker. Katya was perfect.

Trixie leaned over and kissed Katya’s cheek when they stopped to cross the street, the woman beside her illuminated in soft yellow light from the sun, the sunset behind her, making her look like she was glowing. Katya grinned and looked all too happy for a moment before she pulled Trixie gently closer and raised her other hand to rest on her chin for a second before she kissed her lips. They pulled apart when a car horn honked loudly, and they both laughed for a second before crossing the road. 

“I think we’re going to get sued to public indecency.” Trixie said seriously after they'd crossed. 

Katya squeezed her hand and smiled. “Then we’d get to be in jail together, how much fun would that be?” Trixie laughed and Katya grabbed the door to the restaurant, somehow they didn't break their hands away until they were seated at a table by the window.

Trixie rested her chin on the heel of her hand, looking over at Katya who was flipping avidly through the menu. She had her legs crossed and was looking slightly confused.

The restaurant was nice. Trixie liked the plants. There were many, even in the little space. And there was vegetarian stuff on the menu. She liked that too. Her company was also very good, Katya was still looking worriedly over the menu. Trixie tapped her foot gently with her own, raising an eyebrow. 

“They don’t have waffles.” She said simply. And she looked actually disappointed.

Trixie scanned through the menu quickly. 

“You brought us to a vegan-friendly restaurant and cafe.” Trixie said, and tilted her head. 

“I know, but I thought they'd have waffles.”

Trixie watched her for a little while, smiling slightly..

“What?” She asked, and shifted her gaze up from the menu to meet Trixie’s eyes. 

“Nothing, you're just really cute.” She replied, and that made Katya smile. She didn't look too torn up about the waffles anymore. 

When the waiter finally came over, Katya ordered pancakes, they were gluten free, and Katya asked twice if there was a way to add the gluten back in, she was turned down both times. But Trixie got something with noodles and roasted vegetables in it. They also got drinks, and Trixie decided on some sort of pink martini, Katya looked the menu for a while before getting the cheapest red wine.

“I can’t tell the difference anyway.” She said to the waiter, shrugging, and he looked shocked for a split second before he smiled and walked away.

Trixie asked how the raccoon hat was doing, and Katya told her that she’d broken out her sewing needle in order to stitch on large eyes. She wasn't surprised, but she was impressed with the sewing ability.

Katya fished out her phone to show her a picture, Trixie laughed, and Katya said she wished she’d worn it to dinner. Trixie admitted that she thought it might've made the vegans unsettled. Katya then loudly delved into a detailed explanation of her last hunting trip. Trixie knew by the glint in her eyes that she was joking, but that didn't stop them from receiving side eye and glares from gluten-intolerant hippies. Katya had apparently cut open the large mountain lion and pulled the heart out with her bare hands. According to her, the blood had stained her palms for days following.

After that episode, the waiter calmly walked over with a paper bag, apparently it contained their food. More than a couple tables had complained loudly about them.

Trixie looked at him for a moment, then back at Katya, who was already standing up. She grinned at Trixie for a moment. She took her wine bottle, and Trixie got her glass, taking the bag from Katya as they walked out. 

Katya bumped her shoulder with her own gently when they were back out on the street. They both laughed loudly, and turned in the direction of the apartments.

“You know I’m vegetarian right?” She asked, and Katya looked at her for a moment. “You’re joking.” She said simply. Trixie shook her head. Katya looked worried for a moment, perhaps hoping she hadn't offended Trixie. 

“Don't worry.” Trixie said, and she clinked her glass and Katya’s bottle together. “I’m not terrible.” She glanced at the woman beside her and smiled.

Katya looked reassured and she took a sip of wine from her bottle, Trixie took a sip from her glass. She looked down at it when she swallowed the last bit, frowning. 

“I got it, кукла.” Katy's said, and she poured some of her wine into Trixie’s glass. She took a tentative sip, observing the ring of red lipstick on the bottle. 

“This isn't bad,” Trixie said, and looked at the woman, a pleasant expression on her face. 

Katya grinned and nodded. 

They continued their walk in a content silence, bumping shoulders every few steps. Despite the cool air around them, Trixie felt a little warmer, and there was a bounce in her step. Probably due to the woman beside her.

“Do you want to come up to mine?” Katya asked. “We can finish dinner, this bottle…” She had a glint in her eyes that Trixie couldn't ignore. So she nodded, and they started into the building, going up the stairs.

Honestly, when they got to Katya's door, Trixie was a little less focused on the food in the bag, her attention switched to the glances Katya was shooting in her direction, and how she'd insisted on holding her hand up the stairs.

Katya unlocked the door and when they stepped in, it looked the exact same as Trixie remembered, save this time the windows were closed. “I thought you'd be coming over-” Katya said, and she gestured to the windows. The apartment was warmer, and Trixie was smiling. 

Katya had closed the windows. She knew she’d wanted to come over. She planned for her to come over. Trixie took a seat on the couch, setting down the empty martini glass while Katya put the food in the kitchen, disappearing for a moment or two. When she returned, she had the bottle of wine in one hand, and two actual wine glasses in her right hand. 

“Here-” she said, and handed Trixie a glass as she poured two generous cups, sitting down right beside her, their knees brushing as the woman crossed hers. “To a lovely evening.” Katya said, and her red lips spread into a smile. She didn't look away when their glasses clinked, or when they drank, Trixie finding that she couldn't tear herself away from her gaze.

Trixie took a deep sip and set the glass down on the coffee table, eyes flitting around the room, taking in the books and random oddities on the shelves, and a couple formal family pictures tucked away in corners.

“You know-” Katya said, and she copied Trixie’s movements, setting the glass down. She raised an eyebrow at the woman across from her. “You did look very nice tonight.” She glanced at Trixie’s legs, then back up at her face. “Stems and all.” Trixie turned to face her, eyes narrowing playfully as she reached out, resting her hand on Katya’s left knee.

“Are you fetishizing my legs?” She asked.

Katya laughed slightly and shook her head. “I just have a profound taste for a beautiful woman.” She answered. “Who just happens to be right in front of me, wearing a lovely dress.”

Trixie smirked slightly. “So what you're saying is that tonight counted as taking you out for dinner?” 

Katya rolled her eyes but nodded. “Barely, but I'm not that high class, котенок.” 

Trixie tilted her head to the side and Katya leaned forward, their noses an inch apart. She could see the clumps of mascara on the ends of her lashes. “It means kitten.” She replied easily, and looked down at Trixie’s hand on her thigh, smiling still. 

“You seem very classy to me.” Trixie said, and she blinked, watching as Katya did too.

Katya grinned and leaned in, moving forward and catching Trixie's mouth in her own. Her hand rested on her waist and she pulled her closer. Trixie smiled briefly against her lips and pushed forward, her fingertips brushing Katya's sharp hip bone. 

There was a catch of teeth against Trixie's bottom lip, and Katya was biting gently, her fingertips digging gently into her skin. She wanted clothing off. She wanted her shoes off, and Katya's dress. She needed that off. 

Katya broke away to breathe, taking a breath quickly and leaning back in, Trixie stopped her with a hand against her sternum. 

“Bedroom.” She murmured. Because Trixie knew neither one of them wanted this to happen on the couch. Trixie certainly didn't. 

Katya whined a little but nodded and stood up, taking Trixie by the hand and pulling her after her. Somehow they lost shoes along the way, Katya had miraculously kicked off her jellies and they were both back to normal height. Trixie was still an inch or two taller, but Katya looked determined when they kissed again, pushing Trixie so she was walking backwards towards the bed, falling back on the duvet when her knees hit the edge.

Katya ran a hand through her own hair, and rubbed her lips together for a moment before she was back over Trixie, leaning over her, leaning down to gently kiss her lips. 

Trixie began working on the back of Katya's dress as they kissed, the woman pulling her arms out of the sleeves. Trixie pushed it down her chest, and Katya tossed it to the side. She was straddling her hips, like she'd been before, and Trixie was looking up at her, hands on her thighs as she gazed at her toned stomach, and her wide eyes, looking right back down at her. 

Time seemed to freeze for just a moment, and after that second of pause, of quiet, when the room felt still, things slowed down. They both slowed down, and kissed, Katya pulling off her clothes slowly until they were both vulnerable and wanting, moaning softly and touching each other. 

Katya moved down between her legs, and Trixie saw stars, her hands tangled in her short hair, and Katya's hands pushed down on her hips as she said the woman's name in pleasure. Katya's thumbs brushed over the swell of her hip and kept her in the present, from completely drifting away. When she climaxed, finally, after what seemed like years, Katya was kissing her again, and Trixie could taste herself on the woman's tongue.

Her fingers moved between Katya's legs and Trixie watched as the woman above her rode her fingers, Trixie's name falling quietly from her lips. Katya's lipstick was smeared halfway across her face, and lingered on Trixie's body. They both had left marks on each other, and Trixie liked that she could see the pink from her mouth on Katya's pale skin, and that red dotted her own in tender spots on her thighs and along her collarbone.

Katya moaned her name loudly and reached release, catching her breath and relaxing against her for a long moment. Their breathing synchronized, and the next time Trixie opened her eyes, a minute or two later, Katya was looking back at her with a lazy smile on her lips, eyes slightly glazed over. She leaned up and kissed Trixie's lips gently, staying close, bumping their noses together. 

Somehow Katya conned her into actually getting into the bed. Trixie had her head resting on Katya's chest, and the other woman’s arm was around her, tracing gentle shapes on her back. Trixie was utterly contest, pressing her nose into Katya's skin comfortably, blinking slowly. 

Their world was still for moments upon moments, until Katya moved to stand, and Trixie knew she needed to smoke. There were cigarettes on the bedside table, and she knew Katya was wanting to go to the window so she wouldn't blow smoke around her.

“Just do it here.” Trixie said, and raised her head to look at the other woman. “You're very warm.” She said simply, and smiled. Katya smiled back and nodded. She reached for her cigarettes and her lighter, resting the box against Trixie’s arm as she took one out. She could handle a little smoke, she just didn't want Katya leaving the bed. 

The same orange light illuminated Katya's face, painting her to look like a sunset. Trixie watched her for a long while, seeing how she blew smoke up and away from the two of them. The smell hadn't ever really bothered her, but it was now growing on her, reminding her of a certain Russian with messy lipstick. She smiled slightly and pressed her lips against Katya's skin gently. She mumbled a goodnight, and soon after that, Katya stubbed out the cigarette, putting her other arm around her. 

“Goodnight, моя красота.” 

And Trixie just hummed quietly against the other woman, not having the energy to ask what the soft words meant.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after causes slight tensions to arise within Trixie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chaper four! Finally, I know.  
> I should be updating more regularly.  
> Please please comment! I love feedback.  
> Thank you so much for reading my baby.  
> <3

Movement in the bed stirred Trixie from a restful night. She blearily opened her eyes, her gaze focusing on the figure rising from the bed.

“Go back to sleep, кукла.” Katya murmured, and she brushed Trixie's hair back from her face, pressing her lips briefly to her forehead. She pulled the duvet back around her, and though it was colder without the heat of another body, Trixie could still feel the spot on her head where Katya’s lips had lingered for a moment.

She turned onto her side and wrapped her arm around a pillow, drifting off again as she heard the sound of the shower turning on and the pull of the curtain.

What must've been an hour or two later, Trixie was awakening again, rubbing at her eyes and sitting up slowly. The apartment was mostly quiet, she could just make out the sound of Katya shuffling around in the other room. She sighed softly and sat up slowly, glancing around at the mess they'd made the night before. Both pillows were stained with lipstick and eyeliner. Trixie had felt guilty until she realized that it was both pink and bright red. Maybe she’d offer to help her clean up later. 

Trixie glanced down at her body, her eyes widening. She needed to shower. And they both needed to wear less makeup. 

Trixie stood up and walked to the bathroom. The mirror was slightly fogged up, and she could barely make out the remains of a smiley face that had been drawn in the steam. It made her smile too, and maybe that had been the purpose. 

Trixie brushed through her hair with Katya's brush, trying to soften the mess as well as she could. It wasn't working, but it was the thought that count. 

She turned to the shower and turned it on, hovering by the curtain for a moment until the water got pleasantly warm. Trixie stepped in and sighed in relief, the warm water washing over her. There was a white luffa, and Trixie used it, glancing around at the various products in the shower and she washed herself, trying to get the makeup off both her skin and face. 

Katya seemed to have a taste for expensive-looking organic bath products. And for the woman who tried to add gluten back into her pancakes… well, Trixie found it entertaining. She used something that smelled like rosemary and mint, scrubbing her skin until it was a faint pink, and then rinsing her face, hoping there wasn't too much eyeliner lingering beneath her eyes.

Trixie didn't wash her hair, but she rinsed it with water, getting out of the shower after that, stepping out onto a fluffy, black bathmat. Trixie grabbed a towel, drying her hair as much she could in a minute or two, leaving it damp as it started to curl at her shoulders. She wrapped the fluffy towel around her, opening the door to the bedroom. Eventually she found her underwear putting it on. She figured Katya wouldn't mind, so Trixie borrowed a t-shirt and some shorts. 

She ran her fingers through her messy hair, taking a deep breath in before leaving the bedroom. 

“Good morning.” She said, and saw that Katya was yet again, on a yoga mat. She was more bendy than she'd thought. 

When Katya heard her, she looked up quickly, a grin growing on her face as Trixie took a seat on the couch, watching Katya happily as she tucked her legs up, sitting cross-legged. 

“Good morning.” Katya replied, and grinned at her, she stood up quickly and leaned over, kissing her gently. “You're not going to run off again?” She asked a little tentatively. 

Trixie shook her head and smiled slightly. “Definitely not.” She stated simply. 

Katya sat back down on her yoga mat, and the light from the morning sun shone behind her, Trixie thought she looked like she was glowing. She looked very nice, in the bright light, in a t-shirt and some leggings. Trixie liked how Katya was a morning person. How she let her sleep in while she stretched and showered. 

“So yoga?” Trixie asked, and watched as Katya went into pigeon pose, stretching her hips out. 

“Yoga.” Katya repeated. “But it helps with keeping my flexibility.” She added, and Trixie nodded. 

“What about you, кукла?” Katya said, as she leaned forward, turning her head to the side so she could see her. The woman's face was bare of all makeup, not all her mascara came off, but she looked nice either way. Her cheekbones could cut her and her hair was just a little damp. Trixie liked it and her a great deal. 

“Running mostly.” Trixie admitted, and saw as Katya raised an eyebrow for a split second. Katya put her leg forward and went into the splits, leaning forward and touching her foot. It was then her eyebrows that raised.

“Have I impressed you yet, Barbara?” Katya asked, and huffed a soft laugh before switching legs slowly.

“Admittedly, yes. But I’m not hard to impress.” Trixie said, and she leaned back against the couch, bringing one of her legs up and resting her chin on her knee. She watched Katya stretch for a long while, and the silence that followed was comfortable, and felt warm. Katya would smile at her, and Trixie couldn't help but grin back.

“I made coffee- if you want any.” Katya commented, when she finally stood up, rolling the yoga mat and putting it over to the side.

Trixie nodded and stood up. She followed Katya to the little kitchen. It looked a great deal like her own, albeit there was less pink. The woman shuffled around for a while for milk and sugar, gesturing for her to get mugs from the cabinet. It felt strangely domestic, just like waking up in Katya’s bed had felt, and how lingering on the couch had seemed. She wasn't complaining, there was a part of her that was admittedly slightly scared of that intimacy, though it was juxtaposed by the feeling and need to be close to someone, Katya particularly. She wanted lazy mornings and going to dinner, things that used to seem silly. But she’d shared it with Katya, and ended up replaying those moments in her mind until they were tinted gold.

Trixie got out two mugs and brought them back to the little table where Katya was seated with some spoons. The milk and sugar were there too, and Trixie put some of each in her cup. Katya just put in sugar and stirred slowly, the spoon hitting the side of the cup every time she spun it.

She took a careful sip, and Katya bumped her ankle gently with her toes, looking up from her cup to smile at her.

“I’m glad you stayed over.” She said, and her small smile grew.

“Me too.” Trixie replied, and took another drink from her cup, tapping her nails against the side for a second.

“Will I be seeing the magnificent Trixie again?” Katya asked after a moment.

Trixie met her eyes. “I certainly hope so.” She said.

“Usually I hold off on things like this, maybe waiting a day or two-” Katya began, and she cut herself off by drinking her coffee. “But can I see you tomorrow?” She asked, and though Trixie was surprised she nodded, ignoring the slight worry she felt.

“Definitely.” She said, and Katya grinned. 

“There’s this park, a couple blocks-” Katya pauses and thinks, before pointing to her right, in the direction of the window. “That way-” she glanced down for a second. “I always thought a picnic date would be fun.” Katya admitted.

Trixie couldn't help but smile. 

“You know it’s winter.” She replied after a second and reached out, fingers tapping gently at Katya’s wrist. “I’d love to go with you, but we’ll need to remember jackets.”

“Meet me in the hallway around noon?” 

“That sounds good to me.” Trixie said, and took a sip of her coffee.

Katya looked remarkably happy after that, turning her wrist so that she properly held Trixie’s hand. They smiled at each other, and Trixie felt remarkably like a teenager with a crush. But in contrast to teenage obsessions she’d had, this one seemed decently reciprocated. 

Katya smiled again briefly and held her gaze for a long while. They both drank their coffee, and Trixie became grateful that sipping from mugs was a one handed affair. 

Eventually she knew she’d have to go. Pearl and most likely Violet were most likely wondering where she’d gone last night, and which woman’s bed she ended up in. Pearl would eventually ask her, who she was spending her evenings with… She would deflect and make a joke. But Trixie wasn't sure if this counted as dating, probably seeing each other. That seemed safe. But either way, she didn't want questions from Pearl, or teasing from Violet. 

 

Trixie drank the last sip of her coffee, looking over at Katya with a raised eyebrow. From the clock on the stove, she knew it was almost nine. She watched carefully as Katya glanced around for a moment, standing up and slipping away from Trixie. She peered into the fridge and rummaged for a moment before pulling out container. She grabbed some forks from a drawer, then went back to the table, opening what appeared to be her pancakes from the night before. Trixie didn't mind eating them cold, Katya didn't either. So they ate the pancakes in a comfortable quiet, Katya’s toes against her ankle.

“I wish they had gluten in them.” Katya said, and she put her fork down on the edge of the box. “Why did they have to ruin pancakes?” She asked, and looked at Trixie with a confused expression.

“Who?” Trixie asked back, her eyebrows furrowing.

“The healthy,” Katya said. “I just don’t get it,”

Trixie took one last bite and put her fork down too. “Well- I think some people are intolerant to gluten.” She shrugged and Katya did too.

“I think I’m intolerant to them.” 

“The healthy?”

Katya nodded and Trixie laughed slightly.

Katya began to speak rapidly, detailing the reasons that both gluten and all other wonderful things were being ruined by the healthy. Trixie noticed that though she criticized vegans, she didn't brush on vegetarianism. Probably not wanting to offend her. Trixie appreciated it quite a bit.

“I’m just saying-” Trixie began and watched as Katya stood up, putting forks in the sink and the paper container in the trash can under the sink. She followed her to the sink and rinsed the coffee cups. “You’re the one who does yoga.”

Katya rolled her eyes and glanced over at her from where she leaned against the counted. “You run.” She replied.

“We’ve come to an impass.”

Katya had a little smile playing at her lips.

“I just think we need to realize that maybe, you know, we’re healthier than we realized.”

Katya gasped in shock and clutched her stomach for a second, an overdramatized look on her face. “Mother, I’ve been shot,” she murmured, and looked at Trixie, who stood unfazed, arms crossed. Katya straightened up and looked at her. 

“I’ll never accept that label.” 

Trixie snorted and shook her head and glanced quickly to the clock again. Katya followed her gaze to the clock and then looked back at her. 

“Do you need to go?” She asked, and Trixie couldn't help but hear slight disappointment. 

She nodded a little but stepped closer to the woman.

“You’ll be seeing me tomorrow.” Trixie replied, and smiled slightly.

“That’s longer than you think.” Katya said, and Trixie rolled her eyes.

“I’ll call you tonight.” She added, and Katya’s eyebrows immediately raised.

“Not like that- you always go there.” Trixie laughed and Katya shrugged. “Don't ask me what I’m wearing again.” She added and Katya only winked at her.

They went back to the bedroom, and Katya sat down on the bed as Trixie got dressed, watching intently. She didn't mind, but her cheeks still flushed when Katya met her eyes while she was putting on her dress. 

“Can you zip me up?” She asked, and Katya was standing before she had looked over her shoulder, her cold fingers deft with the zipper, lingering on her skin for a moment too long. Trixie put on her heels and turned back around, noticing how Katya was looking at her. 

“You wanted tall shoes.” She said, and Katya raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s more fun when I’m taller too.” She cast a longing gaze over at her jellies.

“I kind of like you short.” Trixie replied with a grin as she grabbed her jacket.

Katya glared halfheartedly at her when she walked back over. Trixie patted Katya’s head because she knew it would piss her off, or at least mildly annoy her. She fixed Katya’s bangs so they looked a little more neat.

Katya looked back at her, and she didn't seem too fazed. “Are you sure you have to go?” She asked, and seemed slightly anxious.

Trixie knew she didn't really have to leave. She had the option to stay… But she didn't want Pearl and Violet on her. And it felt appropriate to have space. They didn't know each other incredibly well, and Trixie, though her actions had contradicted it, wanted to go slower, emotionally. She cared too much already. So she nodded.”I've got to clean up the apartment a little, and I promised one of my friends I’d meet her for lunch.” Partly true, but her stomach twisted as she spoke the words. 

They walked back out into the doorway, Katya leaning against the doorframe in her leggings, looking at her. She looked slightly disappointed.

“I’m calling you tonight.” Trixie reminded, meeting her eyes.

Katya nodded, trying a smile. It lit up her face brightly. 

Trixie leaned in and pressed their lips together quickly. It was chaste, and quick, Katya was pressed against her for a much too short amount of time. And soon she was pulling away and unlocking the door to her own apartment. 

“Tonight-” she repeated, and looked over her shoulder, smiling widely before shutting it behind her.

Trixie leaned back against the door. The apartment was dark, which meant Pearl and Violet were most likely at Violet’s apartment. She let out a soft sigh as she heard Katya’s door shut. She had no idea what she was doing. Trixie ran a hand over her face, licking her lips slowly. She could still taste Katya. Why had she wanted to leave? Was it the intimacy? The odd feeling of being so absolutely content and carefree with someone she didn't know? And the most terrible thing was that she wanted to turn back around and walk back to that apartment, to laugh with Katya and kiss her.

But she had absolutely no idea what she was doing. 

Trixie sank down, kicking off her shoes and covering her mouth with her hand, looking around the dimly sunlit apartment with wide eyes. She missed Katya already. And that wasn't a good sign. She tugged her dress over her knees and brought them closer to her chest, taking deep breaths, leaning her head back against the door, her nails tapping at her knees as she thought. It felt like she was drowning in her thoughts, her mind swallowing her whole.

She didn't know what to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Internal conflict? Oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you to everyone who's read. It means the world to me! If you enjoy this please comment! They're my favorite things ever. Enjoy! This chapter is kinda a cliffhanger, I'm sorry. Six is in the works. So not much waiting on y'alls part.  
> Anyway, thank you for reading, and again, I'd love a comment, whether what you liked or constructive criticism, or I guess deconstructed, I'm not picky.  
> ♡  
> 

Trixie's phone was ringing, just like it had been for the past ten minutes. She had moved into her room and was sitting on the ground at the end of the bed. She heard Pearl come in earlier, then another set of footsteps, Violet. They'd laughed, and she heard little bits of conversation.

“I'm going to make dinner- you just have to sit there and look pretty.” She heard Violet say, and Pearl sighed loudly.

“I thought the sitting and looking pretty was your job.”

Violet laughed loudly and she could hear her lighting the stove with a lighter. 

“Is Trixie here?” Violet asked, and Trixie was still staring at the phone.

“I'll go check, but she's been out the last few nights, lucky lady might've actually found someone.” 

She heard the sound of Pearl’s chair moving, then the sound of her shoes as she walked down the hallway, pausing in front of her door. 

“Trixie?” She asked, and she only looked at the door. The handle turned, and she knew it was only a matter of time before Pearl would be crouching in front of her with a worried look in her eyes. She'd be looking put together, probably have a fresh hickey of Violet's doing on her neck. 

Pearl stepped into the dark room, her eyes flitting around before they landed on her. 

“Trix-” she started, and crouched down, just like Trixie knew she would.

Her face was red, she could feel it. And she hadn't sat up decently the entire time she was home. Trixie was worried that her dress was wrinkled, but mostly her anxiety stemmed from the two missed calls and the concerned text she'd received. Katya was worried. Genuinely worried. And Trixie was sitting there like an idiot on the floor, trying to sort out exactly what was wrong with her. 

“What's wrong?” Pearl asked, and she sat down beside her, touching her arm gently.

“I have no fucking idea-” Trixie said softly, and she glanced once again at the phone.

“Who’s-” Pearl reached out and grabbed the phone. “Katya…” she paused. “We don't know a Katya.” Pearl looked at her. “This is her- the girl?” 

Trixie nodded. 

“Do you like her?” She asked. 

Trixie nodded again.

“Then…” 

Trixie rolled her eyes and let her head fall back against the ceiling. She looked up at the ceiling, watching the fan.

“I don't know- I just…” Trixie trailed off and she looked anywhere but Pearl.

The woman beside her was silent for a short while, and she wasn't looking at her either. 

“You know-” she paused and took in a deep breath. “Trixie, if this is about Shar-” Trixie cut her off quickly. 

“Absolutely not. I'm not talking about her.”

Pearl sighed in exasperation. “You haven't talked about her in the two years after you two broke up.”

Trixie scoffed and played at the dress at her fingertips, chewing on her lower lip for a moment. “We didn't break up. She left me for that bitch-”

“And you say you're over it?” Pearl said quickly and looked over at her. “It's been two years, you haven't done anything but have one night stands and refuse to discuss something that obviously has caused some issues-” she gestured at the phone. 

“Look, all I'm saying Trixie, is that this girl, you seem like you care about her.” Pearl paused. “And she's called you twice and texted once. That seems like she cares about you too.” She took a breath in and squeezed Trixie's arm gently. “I really think this could work, you're ready, and I don't think this Katya would cheat on you-” she smiled at her. “You're quite the catch, anyone who doesn't realize that doesn't deserve you.”

Trixie searched her face for a long while, trying to see if Pearl was going to burst into laughter or tell her that Sharon was right to leave her. They both knew exactly how toxic that relationship had been. Pearl had been around long enough to witness the aftermath and all the shitshow that tore Trixie up before it all went up in flames. 

“Okay- I'll- I'll call her back.” Trixie said after a moment, and she exhaled slowly, nodding to herself.

“Good.” Pearl replied, and she crossed her legs, stretching them out in front of her. “So tell me about Katya.” She smiled at Trixie, and she couldn't help but smile somewhat weakly in response.

“She's our neighbor.” Trixie started, and she smiled a little wider. “I stayed at her place when I got locked out..." She trailed off. "But anyway, she's Russian, and Bostonian, and she's blonde.” She grinned at the thought. “She's very flexible, she likes yoga and gluten… oh- and taxidermy, she has this hat-” Trixie paused for a second. “It's like a raccoon, I tried it on, it's really warm.” Trixie stopped again and smiled. “I really do like her, she's… really kind, and smart, kinda too smart, but she plays it off with really, just terrible jokes."

Trixie grinned at Pearl and the other woman only shook her head slightly, glancing down.

“What?” Trixie asked, and was worried for a moment. 

“I think you've got it bad, my friend.” Pearl admitted, but smiled reassuringly. “I think it's okay though, it's for a good person- but, I would like to meet the girl who's given you two hickies now.”

Trixie snorted and shook her head, laughing for a second,

“I'm not letting you anywhere near her.” She answered and Pearl scoffed, looking heartbroken, a hand brought to her chest. 

“I'm offended.” Pearl said, and looked at Trixie, breaking her expression for a moment. “Call her, okay?” She said seriously. 

Trixie nodded and glanced down for a second, picking at her dress again. “Thank you, for…” Trixie sighed and shook her head lightly. “I don't know, being here I guess.”

Pearl nodded and leaned in to hug her, squeezing her gently. “I love you, fucking bitch.” She said, and she laughed slightly, even though they both knew the sentiment was still there. 

“Love you too, cunt.”

Pearl stood up after a while and turned to leave.

“Oh- can y'all try to keep it down tonight?” Trixie asked as she reached over to grab her phone, glancing over at Pearl.

“We can try, but I don't know if I can contain my moans of ecstasy.” She said, and winked at her.

Trixie fake gagged, leaning against the wall and clutching her stomach. Pearl laughed and closed the door on the way out. She could hear as she walked back to the kitchen, and the hum of Violet beginning to speak, then a soft bout of laughter, that both made Trixie want to vomit and smile but mostly vomit.

Her finger hovered over Katya's number in her phone, and she chewed again on her bottom lip for a long moment, probably too long. She pressed call though, running her free hand through her hair.

“Trixie?” Katya sounded worried, and her side of the call was quiet, she was most likely still at her apartment. 

“The one and only.” Trixie responded easily. “Sorry I didn't pick up… things got-” she paused. “I had to deal with some stuff.”

“Oh- it’s fine.” Katya said, and Trixie immediately felt guilty for how easily Katya took the vague answer. “I'm just glad you called, I thought maybe you had to go to the hospital or something, or maybe you fell in the shower..” Katya trailed off.

“You thought I slipped in the shower?” Trixie asked, starting to laugh. And the dull feeling she'd been carrying was beginning to subside. 

“Well, I don't know, it was either that or Pearl and Violet killed you to indulge in a necrophilic fantasy.”

“Oh my god- you are so disgusting,” Trixie said, and she laughed again loudly, hearing Katya wheezing from the other side. 

“That was the only alternative.” Katya said after they both began to breathe normally.

“Do you think or indulge in necrophilia often?” Trixie asked, and she leaned her head back against the wall, smiling slightly. 

“Why?” Katya asked back, lowering her voice an octave or two. “Do you want me to?” 

Trixie shrieked and laughed again. “No- preferably not.” She added. “I'd prefer to be in your bed living.” Trixie said and she heard Katya hum.

“That could be arranged, you know.” Katya said, and Trixie could hear the click of her lighter, the tinge to her words that made Trixie think she was smirking.

“I do know that, it's dangerous how close we live.” Trixie said. Katya hummed again and Trixie closed her eyes for a second, listening to Katya inhale. 

“You could come over “ Katya added after a second. “We don't have to- I mean, if you don't want to-” she began and Trixie cut her off.

“I mean- if you'd have me.”

They both were silent for a moment. 

“We could watch a movie.” Katya suggested, and Trixie nodded, before realizing that she had to speak. “Have you seen Contact?” She asked. 

“No, but that sounds fun.” Trixie said, and she smiled. “I'm wearing pajamas.” She added. And she could hear Katya laugh slightly. “Okay.” She replied easily, and Trixie found herself grinning.

“I'll put you on speaker, okay?” Trixie asked, and she stood up slowly, her legs stiff from sitting down for a while. She stretched for a second, lifting her arms over her head. Then Trixie grabbed the phone and put it down on her dresser. 

“Can you hear me?” Trixie asked, as she opened the drawers.

“Arroway to control; reading you five by five.”

Trixie's eyebrows furrowed as she pulled out some pajamas, turning to the closet to grab a bag, figuring she was most likely going to spend the night.

“Is that a reference.”

She heard Katya exhale. “This is why we're watching Contact.” She said quietly, and Trixie laughed.

She put some high waisted jeans and a nice pink blouse in the bag, along with a white belt and white keds. She tossed in her light blue pea coat for good measure. It was going to be cold, and she was going to refuse winter with everything she had. 

“You still there, котенок?” Katya asked through the phone, and Trixie smiled slightly at the pet name. 

“I'm here, don't worry.” She said, and began to change into what she hoped would look alright. Some pink striped shorts and a matching button down. She liked it. But she was sure to put on a matching underwear and bra set. Both were white, and nice. Just in case things progressed beyond popcorn and Contact. 

Katya must've heard movement, because soon enough, she was speaking again in that low voice, humor in her tone. 

“Are you changing?” She asked, and Trixie snorted. 

“What do you think?” She asked, and buttoned up the top. 

“I think it sounds like you're changing, Tracy.” Katya said, and Trixie could hear the smile in her voice.

Trixie picked up the phone again, taking it off speaker as she looked around for her shoes, finding some sensible low wedges, which yes, didn't totally match, but she just needed shoes to wear over, and they were pink, and she liked them. 

“Okay, you're off speaker. And I'm done changing,” Trixie said, as she held the phone between her shoulder and ear, tying the ribbons of her shoes around her ankles. She then stood, rummaging in her dresser for a second longer to find some socks she could bring just in case. 

“What're you wearing?” Katya asked in an equally disturbing tone, and Trixie smiled for a second before raising her voice two octaves to sound like a basic white girl. “Well- just a lacy nightgown tonight- I don't like to be constricted when I sleep.”

Trixie thought she could hear Katya gulp, and that sound made her cheeks flush. “Are you serious?” Katya asked, and Trixie spoke again. “No, of course not. I've only spent the night what, this’ll be the third time?” Katya laughed and inhaled slowly. “You'll be spending the night?” She asked.

Trixie felt herself blush as she grabbed her bag. “Well I thought I was.” She said, and felt stupid for just a moment. 

“No- no.” Katya said hastily, perhaps hearing some sort of panic or embarrassment in Trixie's tone. “I'd love for you to stay.” She added after a second. 

“Oh- okay then.” Trixie said, and she was smiling to herself and to Katya if she'd been there. “I'm heading over right now.” She said, and was still smiling, “I'm going to hang up-” 

“Okay, I'll see you in a second.” Katya said, and Trixie nodded to herself before hanging up. She stood in her room for a moment, leaning down to grab her phone charger before she took a breath. Trixie stashed both in her bag and looked in the mirror quickly. She hadn't put any makeup on. Hopefully Katya wouldn't mind. Trixie quickly put on some lip balm and mascara, feeling terrible bare faced. She fluffed her hair a little, glad that it at least looked bouncy. Trixie put her makeup bag in her duffel anyway, figuring she'd probably want to do it before they went out the next day.

Things were good. That's what she told herself. That she was okay, that though she didn't really know what they were doing, they didn't need a label, and Trixie didn't have to be afraid of caring about Katya a little too much. That Katya was kind, and she wouldn't be in the same horrible situation twice. It would be good. Because Katya was perfect, and she cared about her too.

Trixie shut her door behind her and walked through the living room, finding Violet and Pearl at the table, talking quietly and nudging each other gently. The former was leaning over to kiss the latter with a soft expression. 

Pearl looked up, seeing her leave with a raised eyebrow and a small smile.

“Things went well?” She asked, and Trixie nodded slightly, smiling at Violet too, who winked. She knew, Pearl had told her, and she wasn't surprised.

“I'll be back-” Trixie thought for a moment. “Sometime tomorrow.” She admitted, as hastily passed the two of them, informing Pearl. 

“Remember, consent is cool, Trixie-” she said, and laughed loudly. 

“Yeah it is-” Violet added, and Trixie almost gagged when she heard Pearl giggle, and glanced over to see the two of them kissing roughly, Violet leaning over to have more leverage.

It was definitely her time to escape, so she slipped out the door, locking it behind her easily and straightening her bag on her shoulder. Trixie smiled for a second, taking a quick breath and crossing the couple feet to Katya's door. It was going to be alright.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation doesn't always lead to discontent. Trixie and Katya clear some things up while dealing with their own fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read so far!  
> This work is so important to me, thank you to everyone who has left a lovely comment. It means the world.  
> But enjoy this chapter, it was a ball to write, and leave a comment please! I'd love to know what you think!  
> ♡

Trixie knocked on the door gently, shifting between her feet for a moment. She could hear shuffling on the other side, along with a frantic yell of something she couldn't tell or understand, most likely not in english.

But she tried the door, and it was open. So she pushed on it, turning the handle.

“Oh-” Trixie ran right into another person, a blonde person in a red t-shirt.

She looked at Katya for a long second, and the other woman was looking back at her with a smile.

“Sorry,” Katya said after a second, and she took a step out of her space.

“You're all good.” Trixie said easily, and she smiled at Katya for a moment, admiring her fleetingly.

“You wore tall shoes.” Katya commented, and she took Trixie’s bag off her shoulder, starting to walk back to the bedroom. 

“I like tall shoes, remember? Plus I basically own all heels,” Katya snorted and re emerged from her room after a moment, looking all too attractive in a t-shirt and a pair of red pajama shorts that had little black polka dots covering them.

Trixie leaned down and took off her shoes, figuring that if Katya was barefoot, she probably could be too. She put them by the door, up against the wall and smiled slightly at the woman leaning against the couch, half sitting on the arm. 

“You want popcorn or anything?” Katya asked, and she stood up fully, looking at Trixie. She rubbed the back of her neck, and in that moment, Trixie saw that the woman might've been a little nervous. About what Trixie wasn't certain of. Trixie figured she'd have to talk to her eventually, but for as long as she could, she was going to enjoy snacks, the lovely view of Katya's thighs, and soon, Contact.

“Sure.” Trixie said, and she followed Katya back to the kitchen. She leaned against the counter as Katya got some microwave popcorn out, along with some beer from the fridge.

“I finally went to the grocery store.” Katy said, glancing back over her left shoulder at her from where she was as the microwave.

“Your haul is truly impressive,” Trixie said, observing the bananas on the counter.

“I know, produce.” Katya said, and she laughed slightly. “Oh- I didn't say anything before, but you look really nice, Trixie.”

Trixie smiled and laughed. “You know, that might've been the only time you've actually said my name-” she paused and brushed some hair behind her ear, looking down for a moment. “Thank you though.” Trixie thought for a moment. “You look ravishing as well.” Trixie grinned at Katya and winked.

The other woman had apparently decided that watching a movie called for a full face of makeup, and even though her lipstick was slightly smeared, and her eyes were resembling a raccoon, Trixie thought she looked beautiful.

Katya needed to show her legs off, Trixie liked them more than was probably appropriate. And though she'd accused Katya of fetishizing her legs, the opposite might've been true. Yoga had blessed the world with the woman's thighs and calves. Both of which she found quite impressive.

“I try-” Katya said, and she turned her head away for a second, before looking at her dramatically, flipping her short hair back over her shoulder. “I always go for ravishing.” 

Trixie laughed lightly and Katya stared at her for a couple more moments, holding the ridiculous expression before she too was smiling at her, it progressing to a grin, then a laugh.

That made her laugh even harder, and Trixie thought they were both idiots. Katya ran a hand through her hair, maybe an attempt to neaten it. It didn't work, but Katya didn't seem to mind much, neither did she.

Katya stopped wheezing when the popcorn was done, grabbing a large Tupperware from a cabinet and putting the popcorn in that. Trixie didn't know why she didn't use a bowl, but stopped herself from asking. Katya must've understood her slightly raised eyebrow, because she answered the question she'd been thinking. Or she could read her mind. Trixie wouldn't have been surprised.

“I just decided to get Tupperware when I moved it, bowls and shit are really heavy.”

“Just Tupperware? That's it?” Trixie asked, and she grabbed a beer bottle from the counter, twisting off the cap. 

“Well I have some mugs, and plates, but I don't really like cereal…” she trailed off and shrugged.

“You are a whole new level of a broke young adult.” 

Katya laughed and shook her head. “I'm not as broke as you'd think from my-” she gestured around her for a second, “living situation.”

“Your taxidermied apartment?” Trixie asked, and she raised her eyebrow.

“It's just the hat!” Katya said in slight defiance, smiling lightly.

“That's all you're admitting.” Trixie said, and she grabbed the large thing of popcorn, heading back into the living room to the couch. “You coming?” She asked, and Katya rolled her eyes but followed suit. 

Trixie felt like they were in a slightly odd place. It felt like hanging out with a friend. Except with more flirting, and Trixie didn't usually sleep or want to sleep with her friends. She knew things were slightly off. Katya had seemed nervous for virtually no reason earlier… Trixie told her mind to shut up, focusing instead on her beer while Katya set up the movie, eventually joining her on the couch. She put down the bottle and popcorn on the coffee table. 

Katya sat beside her as it began, and she was staring at the side of her face while Trixie watched the screen. 

“This is my favorite movie.” Katya said. And she didn't look away from her profile. “So I might be quoting along.”

“That's fine.” Trixie said, and she looked quickly at the other woman. “But are you going to be watching me instead of the screen?” Trixie crossed her legs and leaned over Katya to grab a blanket, draping it over both of their laps. 

She smiled again over at Katya, and noticed that the woman shrugged slightly. “That's the best part, right?” She asked. 

“What?” Trixie replied, and held Katya's gaze. 

“The company.” 

Trixie felt her cheeks heat up, but she was grinning. “Right.” She agreed after a moment, and nodded slightly. 

Katya's hand found her own over the blanket, and Trixie really couldn't stop herself from smiling. She watched the screen, and Trixie switched between the television and her. She didn't mind much, she liked Katya's thigh pressed against her own, and even her clammy palms were appreciated by Trixie. 

As the movie went along, Trixie found that Katya began looking at her less and less, totally absorbed in the movie in from of them. And it was alright. Trixie liked it. She didn't usually like sci-fi, but Katya was right when she said it’d be good. It was. And even though she did cry when Ellie’s father died at the beginning, it was okay, because Katya's eyes glazed over too and she squeezed her hand gently. 

She wasn't one for movies. She usually got bored thirty minutes in, and called it quits if she was alone, or suffered another hour. That usually involves three trips to the bathroom and lots of moving. But Contact was actually a decent movie. And before she knew it, Ellie was inside the machine, and the line Katya had quoted earlier was being spoken. 

“Arroway to control; reading you five by five.”

Trixie looked over at Katya, watching as the woman's lips moved with the quote. She smiled. And Katya squeezed onto her hand tightly, eyes glued to the screen. 

“How many times have you seen this?” Trixie asked quietly, and reached forward for her beer, taking a sip.

Katya shushed her and kept watching the television. “Not enough.” She said simply. 

Trixie rolled her eyes and recrossed her legs, shifting as she moved her attention away from Katya and back to the movie in front of them. She was still restless. She didn't think any movie would ever hold her attention forever. And Contact happened to be dragging on forever. She didn't anticipate the actual twist, with the aliens, the way they set it up, with her father as a guise. And even if she thought Contact was entirely too long, there were good parts, and she got to see Katya mouthing along to Jodie Foster’s monologue. That was very impressive. 

The credits rolled and Katya looked over at her expectantly. 

“So, what'd you think?” She asked, and her eyebrows were lost behind her bangs. 

“It was good.” Trixie said, and she nodded encouragingly. 

“Good?” Katya was silent for a moment, her mouth falling open. “That was a cinematic masterpiece.”

“I know,” Trixie nodded again. “It was really good.” 

Katya stared at her for a moment. “You know.” She said after a pause. “I really don't think we have something anymore.”

Trixie stared at her and raised an eyebrow. 

“Because of Contact?” She asked. 

Katya nodded and the corner of her lips twitched.

“It was a very good movie.” Trixie added, and sighed dramatically. “Jodie Foster was incredible. It was way ahead of its time.” She looked at Katya. “Happy?” 

Katya nodded and reached for her beer. She clinked their glasses. “To Jodie Foster, lesbian icon.” She said, and Trixie grinned.

“I can drink to that.” 

She took a sip from her bottle and then put it down on the coffee table, grabbing the big thing of popcorn. 

“Hey,” Katya said after a second, and she reached for some popcorn. 

“Hey.” Trixie responded simply, and she looked at Katya. 

“Are you going to run off again tomorrow?” Katya asked, and she looked away from her, the woman's eyes on her knees. 

Trixie looked down too. 

“No.” She said after a moment. 

“You said that this morning.” Katya responded quietly, but there was no bite or malice in her words, even if she thought heard some hurt.

And though she couldn't see her face, Trixie knew Katya was nervous, she could hear it in her voice. Maybe she was afraid of commitment, and Katya was afraid of confrontation.

“I like you a lot.” Katya said after a long moment of silence.

“I like you a lot too.” Trixie said back. “I’m…” she trailed off. 

“Am I doing something wrong?” Katya asked her before she could finish, and she finally looked at her. 

Trixie felt her heart sink to the pit in her stomach. She shook her head gently and bit down on her lower lip.

“You know-” Trixie finally began, and she took a deep breath in. “I'm terrible at goodbyes.” She laughed slightly, and it was raw at the edges. “I… I always have been.” Trixie said softly. 

Trixie glanced down at her lap for another second. She inhaled again. 

“Please deal with me.” She said, and she smiled slightly at Katya. “Even if I'm always running off, and…” she shook her head and Katya squeezed her hand.

“I was always planning on dealing with you, Tracy.” Katya smiled carefully, and the tension in the room began to melt away as she met her eyes. “Even if you always leave my apartment before nine.” 

Trixie could hear her heart beating in her ears, and it was slowing now, getting quieter. She'd have to tell Katya about Sharon eventually. It was inevitable, if she truly wanted this to work. If she wanted to be able to work. 

Katya grinned at her and squeezed her hand again. And there was something so genuine in the way she looked at her, maybe she saw something Trixie herself had never seen, because she seemed more than content in looking at her like she had diamonds on her face instead of faint freckles across her nose.

“You're spending the night, right?” Katya asked her, and she leaned over to the coffee table to put down the bottle. 

Katya had put away her bag. They both knew she was spending the evening on this side of the hallway.

“Yeah, I was hoping to anyway.” Trixie said and she smiled at Katya slightly. 

“Good. I might actually get to make you breakfast.” Katya let go of her hand to stretch her arms up over her head. She glanced at her. “Forewarning, I'm a terrible cook.”

“That sounds promising.” Trixie said, and she grinned. So breakfast might not be the best, but she had some faith in Katya. It couldn't be that bad.

Katya looked at her for another while, and Trixie was content in letting her, smiling to herself and maybe to the other woman too.

“Are you tired?” Trixie asked, after she'd leaned her chin on the heel of her hand, her elbow against the back of the couch. 

“Kinda.” Katya replied with a shrug, and she looked at Trixie. “Are you tired?” She repeated.

“Kinda.” Trixie said back with the same nonchalant tone. Katya grinned at her. 

“How about…” Katya trailed off for a moment. “We go to bed, and maybe make out.”

Trixie shrugged and nodded, smiling at her. “That sounds okay I guess.” She let out a feigned labored sigh. “But don't keep me up too late, I have an important date tomorrow.” 

Katya snorted and stood up, grabbing the bottles and the tupperware, dumping them in the kitchen sink. “Who's the lucky lady?” She asked, and walked back to Trixie, suddenly very close to her.

Trixie grinned at her and shook her head, wrapping her arms around Katya's neck. “I have no idea, all I've heard is she can't fucking cook and she wakes up early.”

Katya cackled loudly and rested her hands on Trixie's waist, pulling her closer. “This woman sounds like an idiot.” She said easily. “Why are you with her if she can't cook?” Katya started walking backwards through the house, pulling Trixie with her.

“I'm not with her just yet.” Trixie said. She laughed lightly when Katya ran into the doorway, rubbing her shoulder gently, Katya grinning at her.

Katya was pushing open her door, looking at Trixie with wide eyes. “Would you want to be?” She asked. There was a moment of quiet, and it felt like the world held still for them, just them, in the hallway, Katya's hands on her waist, and she could feel their warmth through the thin material of her shirt.

Trixie nodded without a thought and leaned in, kissing Katya's lips gently. The woman pulled her closer and they both stumbled to the bed, Katya pushing her down, just as she had the first night, and the second.

Trixie looked back at her, tugging her over and positioning herself so Katya could kiss her properly.

Katya grinned against her lips, and she could feel the slight pressure of her over her. Trixie was giddy, a lightness in her chest filling her up. The other woman looked happy too, smiling at her when she broke their mouths apart, the both of them breathing in air quickly. Trixie pulled Katya closer gently, one of her hands lingering on her jaw, the other on her waist. 

The lights were off, and she could hear the sound of cars from the windows to the left of the bed. They were closed, and the apartment wasn't cold, it smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, but she didn't mind much. Katya tasted like smoke and beer, which honestly wasn't the best, but it was Katya, so she couldn't bring herself to pull away or wish for anything different.

Katya was breathing against her cheek, her arms on either side of her face, bracketing her. The woman was smiling carefully, and Trixie moved her head to the side carefully to capture Katya’s mouth in her own, keeping them together for a long moment, until they were both breathless.

Trixie smiled lazily and dug her fingertips into Katya’s side, not hard, but enough for her to huff a quiet laugh and for red-stained lips to be pressed against her cheek, almost ensuring a lovely mark she would scrub off later.

Katya smiled at her, and Trixie saw that she was tired, the way Katya was blinking, slowly, her thighs relaxed around her hips. Trixie poked her knee and grinned.

“You're the tired one.” She said softly, and Katya shook her head slowly, but still continued to become lax around her.

“Katya-” Trixie complained in a slight whine, not wanting a repeat of makeup stained sheets. She let Katya settle on top of her for a while. And her hair was in her face, and Katya's feet were cold, but she didn't move until she had to.

“Katya…” she tried again, and the woman hummed against the side of her face, her nose under her ear. 

“Can you please let me up?” She asked softly, and after a few annoyed grumbles, Katya rolled over onto the bed, her hair a mess as she looked at her.

Trixie smiled carefully and smoothed her hair down as best she could before she left for the bathroom, getting her toothbrush on the way. They weren't great at making out when they were tired… but she'd enjoyed it for the minutes they'd been wrapped up in each other.

Trixie grabbed a makeup wipe from the counter and scrubbed up whatever she had on her face in addition to whatever Katya had left. She was bent down over the sink, splashing water on her face, when she heard the quiet sounds of what she assumed to be Katya, walking into the bathroom, then sitting up on the counter. 

She dried her face with a towel gently, glancing around for a second for Katya’s moisturizer. She rubbed some in her hands and then onto her face. The woman was leaning against the wall, having crossed her legs and ran a hand through her hair, her eyes were half closed and the moment felt intimate, and quiet, and she liked it, even if it scared her still.

“Here…” Trixie said quietly, and she took another makeup wipe and stood in front Katya, wiping her face gently, her other hand on her shoulder.

Katya stayed quiet until she’d finished, mumbling a thank you quietly. She smiled at her and Trixie was unable to not match her expression.

Trixie got toothbrushes, and handed Katya’s to her, brushing her teeth quickly over the sink, then rinsing her mouth with some water. She left her toothbrush on the counter and pulled Katya off the counter, ignoring annoyed grumbles. She knew she was just tired. She woke up earlier than her, and though she didn't actually know what Katya had gotten up to, she was tired, and Trixie was good at taking care of people. She liked taking care of Katya. It made her nervous, as most of the things she felt did, but that didn't stop her from getting into Katya’s bed.

The other woman got under the covers after her, apparently finding it easy to move over against her side and settle an arm over her side. Trixie didn't realize she was tired too until the bed was getting warmer, and Katya’s breathing was evening out, slow blinking becoming slower and time wore on.

“Don't leave tomorrow, кукла.” Katya said quietly against her neck, and Trixie replied sleepily, her eyes already half closed as the low hum of the street filtered into the small room, the ceiling fan making the flag on the wall dance gently.

“I've got a date with a beautiful woman, remember?” Trixie said, and she could feel Katya smile against her, tightening her arm around her waist before they both slipped away easily.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both issues and resolutions are created. Katya and Trixie deepen their relationship and pasts are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Thank you so much for reading, this work is my baby.  
> Please comment!  
> ♡

“Did I wake you up?” A voice murmured near Trixie’s ear says softly. And there's movement, the blanket being raised, then warm legs tangling up with her own.

“Kinda…” she responded quietly, and she blinked slowly, her eyes focusing on the face close to her own.

Katya’s grinning, bedhead and all, not yet dressed or showered. She’s barefaced, the slight remnants of mascara under her eyes. 

“I didn't mean to.” Katya said, and Trixie didn't know why they were both whispering. But she liked it. The morning quiet. “I just got up to grab a book- I wanted to let you sleep, and it’s early.” 

She nodded slightly and draped her arm across the woman’s waist, happy to rest her head on her shoulder and try to go back to sleep.

“What're you reading?” She asked quietly, and Katya’s free arm was already around her shoulders, leaning her cheek against her forehead.

“It’s called The Girls, it was a recommendation from someone at work.” 

Trixie hummed slightly. “Is it any good?” She continued, and knew that her voice was quiet, and sleepy, and she probably wouldn't remember the conversation.

“It’s okay,” Katya said, and Trixie could feel her breath ghosting against her skin. “Go back to sleep, you don’t need to humor me with literary questions.”

Trixie smiled against Katya’s skin and blinked a couple more times, hearing a page turn, and Katya began to slowly run her fingers through her hair. And maybe she knew her too well, or somehow guessed the way to get Trixie Mattel to stop talking, because she was falling into a pleasant daze.

. . . 

Eventually the sun was coming in through the window, and Trixie was opening her eyes, both of them unmoved from their positions. She tightened her arm around Katya and the woman glanced over after a moment, smiling softly at her.

Trixie leaned over and kissed her lips gently, finding that yes, they were acting very domestic, but she didn't mind so much anymore. Katya was lovely, and warm in the morning, and she knew she hadn't smoked yet, so the fact that she was still in bed with her at nine, it meant something.

Katya put down her book on the little bedside table, and kissed her like she meant it, even if it was still languid and slow. The light behind Katya made her look like an angel, and Trixie, in the small moment spent pressing her body against Katya’s, feeling the warmth of her seem to spread and make her heart ache, knew this was more than sleeping together and watching movies. Some part of her was still afraid, some small part of her mind was telling her to run, to get away while she could. But she couldn't tear herself away from the eyes that looked at her like she sparkled, or the lips that whispered affections against her own.

Trixie pulled away after a moment, the ghost of a smile hovering on her lips. She sat up slightly, and Katya did too. She felt like they both knew this was more than what it seemed to be. Never had Trixie spent almost every evening after a date in a woman’s apartment. Never had she felt like she did now, enamored, and happy, all because of little things like sleeping late and kissing a woman good morning.

“Do you want breakfast?” Trixie asked, and she ran a hand through her own hair, stretching her arms up after a moment. “I’ll cook.” She added, and Trixie saw Katya's eyes brighten up.

“Yes please.” Was Katya’s simple answer, and she grinned at her. “I’ll shower while you do that.” Trixie laughed and nodded, knowing exactly how Katya planned to get out of cooking.

Katya leaned over and pecked her lips before getting out of bed, and yeah, it was a little cold, but Trixie didn't mind the view she had as the woman walked away to the bathroom.

She sat in the bed for another moment of two, leaning back against the pillows, eyes trained up at the ceiling. She had a slight smile on her lips, something that wouldn't fade. She liked Katya’s apartment, and her bed, she liked her too, more than anything else, even her supply of tupperware and coffee.

Trixie got out of bed and made it messily, grateful that the windows were shut tight, and that the apartment was warm, something that had changed since she started coming over. She grabbed her bag, getting her clothes out that she planned to wear. And though Katya wasn't there to watch, she still found that she enjoyed herself a little more than usual, probably due to the day’s prospects and plans.

Trixie pulled on her jeans and a pink drapey shirt that showed just enough cleavage to be acceptable on a date. She put on her belt after tucking the shirt in, tightening it around her waist. She glanced in the mirror, frowning a little at the state of her hair. Trixie ran her fingers through it, trying to tame the curly mess. She gave up after a while, surrendering and tying a pink and white bandana around her neck.

Trixie felt around for her makeup bag, pulling it out, and she spent some time on that, hoping she didn't totally screw up her eyeliner. Trixie grabbed her perfume from the bad and sprayed some on her wrists and neck, looking in the mirror a final time and smiling slightly at the results of a few minutes spent in pursuit of perfection. She looked good. 

She smiled a little wider and left her shoes in the bag, but still leaning down to roll up the cuffs of her jeans. 

Trixie wandered into the kitchen at some point, getting coffee started, and opening the fridge. Eggs and toast, that counted as cooking, right? She pulled out the eggs and found a skillet at the back of a cabinet, putting it on the stove with some butter in it.

It would be a moment until the pan heated up, so she sat down at the table, feeling around her pockets for a second for her phone. She scrolled through her messages, rolling her eyes at one from Pearl that congratulated her on getting lucky. It had been sent at two am. And Trixie didn't doubt that her best friend had been drunk when it had been sent.

She stood up after a little while and put on the eggs, and started bread in the toaster. She had no idea how Katya had just one skillet but somehow had a toaster. Maybe she really liked toast, and Trixie wouldn't have been surprised.

Trixie looked up from the eggs when she heard footsteps entering the kitchen. Katya was back from the shower, apparently fully dressed and made up. She found it quite striking. She'd decided to brush her hair, and had chosen to wear stoned tights under her dress. They sparkled as she walked, and Trixie was smiling like an idiot. Katya spun in a circle, holding onto the sides of her flower-covered dress, smiling right back at her. She had on heeled oxfords, and her dress fell to just below her knees, little orange and yellow flowers dotting the navy garment, the flowy sleeves hovering above her elbows.

“You look lovely.” Trixie said, and she smiled widely.

“You think?” Katya asked, and she glanced down at her outfit. Something told Trixie that Katya knew exactly how good she looked in the dress, how it came in at her waist and went down only slightly immodestly in the front.

She nodded from where she stood leaning against the counter.

“Well you look absolutely stunning.” Katya said easily, and she waltzed over to her, kissing her. And she didn't have to stand up on her tiptoes because of the shoes. 

“Thank you.” Was all Trixie could say when Katya pulled away from her, and she knew Katya probably got her lipstick on her, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Katya went to the table, dragging a chair over to the window and opening it slightly. Trixie watched her carefully from the stove, stirring the eggs occasionally and observing as Katya rummaged around the pockets in her dress for a cigarette and lighter, blowing smoke only out the window. Trixie appreciated it more than she let on.

Eventually she got the toast out of the toaster and plates from the cabinet, and she didn't mind that Katya wasn't helping, she liked how Katya watched her and vice versa. She served it up and brought it to the table, Katya took a final drag before stubbing her cigarette out and flicking it into the trash. Trixie would've been worried about a fire, but Katya seemed to be used to the movement. No flames erupted in the trash can.

Trixie watched as Katya stood for a second and got coffee for both of them, and she made Trixie’s how she liked it, which made her smile and thank her with a smile when the woman returned.

Katya took a seat beside her, pulling the chair back over and sitting down.

“Best damn eggs I've ever had.” She said, and Trixie raised one of her eyebrows. 

“Really?” 

Katya nodded and Trixie felt more than a little proud of herself as they continued to eat.

A while later, they were seated on the couch, Katya with her feet in Trixie’s lap, her ankles crossed. And the little rhinestones dug into her legs, but she couldn't bring herself to ask Katya to move. The other woman had her nose buried in the book again, and Trixie was on her phone, scrolling through instagram, occasionally handing Katya the phone to look at something. So far Katya had liked ten posts on a dog’s instagram for her, what she called ‘doing her a favor.’

“Hey-” Trixie said, when her gaze focused on a picture on a bookshelf. She tapped Katya’s leg, pulling her from her reading. “Is that you?”

Katya looked up for a moment, raising an eyebrow at Trixie’s question, looking confused before she followed Trixie’s eyes to a photograph of a couple people on the shelf.

“Yes,” Katya said carefully and she looked slightly uncomfortable for a second.

Trixie’s eyebrows came together. “You were such a cute kid-” she continued, smiling slightly. “And those are your parents?”

She watched as Katya continued to look at the picture. “Yes.”

Katya let out a small sigh and looked down, fingers messing with the cover of her paperback..

“Did I say something?” Trixie asked quietly, and she squeezed Katya’s ankle gently. She knew she probably did, and she knew Katya’s parents had sent her away when she was young, she hadn't thought much of it until now.

“I just don't talk about my parents that often, кукла.” Katya said after a little while in silence.

“Oh-” Trixie paused. “I’m sorry..” She tried, and Katya shook her head, offering her a small smile.

“You didn't know. Don't worry.”

Trixie let herself feel relieved in that moment, letting out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. She squeezed Katya’s ankle again, and the other woman went back to reading. Trixie looked at the picture for a long moment, her eyebrows furrowing. Katya must've been nine or ten in the picture. Her then long hair was pinned back neatly. She was wearing a nice red dress that looked like something Trixie would’ve seen on some TV show about a high society family. She chewed on her lower lip for a second. Both adults, Katya’s parents, were stone-faced, glowering at the camera. Katya looked absolutely miserable. Maybe she’d ask more later, or if Katya wanted to explain why she didn't talk about her parents she would ask then.

“Do you want to go to the park?” Trixie offered after a while, she looked over at Katya, who smiled and nodded.

“You might need shoes.” She said.

Trixie nodded and gently moved Katya’s feet to the side, internally grateful for the absence of rhinestones digging into her thighs. She went to the bedroom and found her keds, putting them on quickly. Trixie then hurriedly got her coat, putting it over her arm and looking in the mirror, rubbing her lips together so that the color would be even again.

She let out a soft sigh and smiled briefly at herself in the mirror, running her tongue over her teeth quickly. Trixie left her bag on the floor, figuring she’d probably be back later anyway. 

Katya was no longer on the couch when she returned to the living room, the woman in the kitchen, pouring the rest of the contents of the coffee pot into a thermos. A tupperware of what appeared to be grapes and blueberries was already beside her. She glanced up when she saw her, a smile immediately lingering on her lips.

“I thought I’d bring some stuff.” She said simply, and shrugged a little. She was carrying the thermos and fruit to her tote bag, hurriedly wrapping a brightly colored scarf around her neck.

“The essentials, of course.” Trixie said, and she pulled on her coat, watching as Katya grabbed the black fringe jacket she'd seen earlier from the metal hooks by the door, putting it over her arm.

“Of course.” Katya repeated, and she grinned at her as they walked out of the apartment and down the hallway.

Katya reached out for her hand before they stepped out onto the street, and she took it, lacing her fingers between the other woman’s as she pushed the door open.

The air was cold, and Trixie found herself pulling her coat around her tighter, Katya seemed content with her coat over her arm, the scarf around her neck trailing behind her in the slight breeze. She smiled carefully and looked down at the broken sidewalk, stepping carefully over brush and spare pieces of concrete. Katya walked with purpose. She was pretty sure everyone in a six mile radius could hear the sound of her heels against the ground.

They stopped at the crosswalk, and Katya pulled her hand away to spin in a circle quickly, the other woman’s fingertips brushing her dress for what seemed like an exaggerated few seconds. Trixie was smiling at her, reaching up to run her hand through her hair, pushing it back behind her ears. Katya was a butterfly. She didn't know what she was in comparison, but Katya’s tights sparkled in the early afternoon light, and she was smiling brightly at her, taking her hand again, her eyes shining.

Quiet wasn't a problem. They’d spent a lot of time together, and walking hand in hand, bumping shoulders gently, well Trixie enjoyed it, even with the silence. They continued their walk, and stepped eventually from the concrete sidewalk onto the grass of the park.

“You know,” Trixie began, and she looked over at Katya, her arm brushing hers, fingers tightening slightly. “I’ve never been here, and I've lived at that apartment for…” She trailed off and shook her head, smiling slightly.

“Well, I think it’s nice.” Katya said, and she pulled her over to a tall tree, taking off her scarf so they wouldn't have to sit down on the grass.

Trixie sat down beside her, knees pressing against thighs, Katya stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing her ankles. She rummaged in her bag, taking out the fruit and coffee she had carried along. Katya took a small sip from the thermos then passed it over to her.

Katya leaned back, her arms bracing her. She looked over, and Trixie watched her, meeting her eyes over the thermos. She winked and smiled when she put it down on the grass in front of her.

“Trixie-” Katya said after a moment, and she looked up from where she’d been picking at the green blades by her shoes. She hummed and smiled again. Katya looked slightly nervous, even though her posture was still relaxed, she was chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“I want this to be real.” She said after what seemed like careful thought. Katya paused and was silent again. “I don't want to casually be hanging out, and watching movies…”

Trixie continued to watch her, slightly confused, her fingers still on the ground. “You don't want to be casual with me.” She clarified.

Katya nodded her head and looked down. “Maybe we don't have to be… official, or whatever, we don't need a label…” she trailed off and Trixie leaned over and bumped her shoulder gently.

“But you want to be somewhat official.” Trixie said, and she could feel a slight smile on her lips.

“I’m not going to be going on dates with anyone else.” Katya said, and she finally looked at her. “I don't want to.”

“Me neither.” Trixie heard herself say, and she surprised herself, how she smiled, how she'd decidedly said yes to commitment, with someone, with Katya. There would always be a part of her that was afraid, of getting close to someone, and she didn't know when exactly she would share all of herself… but it wouldn't be to anyone other than Katya. That part she knew. 

Katya wasn't Sharon, she wasn't. There was never malice with her, never a fear she’d said something wrong, done something that prompted a slammed door or an exit. Katya also told her she wouldn't be seeing anyone else, something that had never been clarified between herself and Sharon. She hadn't had the courage to ask for monogamy, now Katya was offering that to her, telling her there was no one else, there would be no Alaska this time. Just her, and Katya, under a big tree, in the afternoon.

There would always be slight fear in times like this, when she didn't know what to say, when she was afraid of staying and of caring, but she knew she cared for Katya, and she wanted to stay with her.

Trixie smiled slightly at Katya, and the other woman’s eyebrows furrowed just for a second, and she turned to look at her more clearly, her knees tucked under her dress.

“You're thinking.” She said, and Trixie nodded just a little. Katya tilted her head to the side in a way that made Trixie’s chest ache at the thought that she still had apprehension.

“Just…” She trailed off and let out a slight sigh. Trixie brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “I haven't dated in a while.” Trixie said finally. “Because of a past relationship, it- you could say it screwed me for commitment.”

Katya didn't move from her place beside her, blinking and nodding slightly.

“Her name was Sharon, she thought it was an open relationship… I wanted it to just be us, but I could never work up the courage to ask for what I wanted.” Trixie took a breath and ran a hand through her hair. “She left me for another girl, and Sharon didn't see anyone else after that.” She’d chosen another blonde, another girl, and stayed with her, leaving Trixie with attachment issues and a fear of getting close to anyone other than Pearl or Kim. “I know it’s technically my fault, I never told her-”

Katya interrupted her, shaking her head for a second. “There is no way any of that was your fault, кукла.” She brought a hand up and pushed some hair back behind her ear. Trixie watched her with wide eyes. “That kind of pain she put you through… No one can just ignore that.”

Trixie looked down and nodded. She could hear the shifting of Katya’s dress, and the sound of the wind rustling in the trees. “That’s why I kept leaving.” Trixie added after a moment, tracing her fingertips over the floral pattern of the scarf. 

“I didn't mind much,” Katya said, and Trixie looked up, seeing the other woman smiling. “You kept coming back.”

Trixie felt relieved, smiling just a little. “You’re hard to stay away from.” She added simply.

Katya laughed softly and Trixie reached out, taking the other woman’s hand and squeezing it gently.

“I like you a lot.” Trixie said, and she leaned in, kissing Katya gently, she could feel her smiling against her lips. 

“I like you a lot too,” Katya murmured against her mouth, closing her eyes for a second and leaning over, their mouths moving together for a long moment. 

When she pulled away, Katya was smiling, and she was smiling too, cheeks pinkening under Katya’s steady gaze. 

Minutes later, Katya was leaning against the tree behind them, Trixie beside her, head leaning on her shoulder as the other woman held her hand, trailing her red nails over her palm gently as she spoke, detailing exactly what their next date should be, it involving a carnival. Trixie mentioned that she was afraid of heights, and Katya looked at her. 

“First you’re a vegetarian, now this?” Trixie shrugged and Katya sighed dramatically, fingertips moving in slow circles as they both watched the traffic from their spot under the tree. 

“I know, I’m a disappointment.” Trixie said, and Katya laughed, leaning her head on hers for a moment. “You've done nothing to disappoint me, I just have to work around your obscene needs.” She smiled and Trixie looked at her, kissing her cheek quickly. 

“I like the rides that go in circles.” Trixie said, and smiled a little wider when Katya kissed her again, pulling away to speak. “We can work with that.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connections deepen and Trixie confronts her past while also opening up to Katya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!!  
> Thank you to everyone who's read this so far!! I absolutely love writing this, I have plans for more. Let me know what you liked, and please please comment, it makes my cold dead heart happy.  
> ♡

Trixie tapped her nails slowly on the table of her little station. It had been a terribly long day. And in the past week, she'd been exhausted. Trixie had gone over to Katya's four times, and it was Friday, she was hoping to round it out for another night.

Katya never minded her presence. They had more fun than they should've. Even when she felt terribly tired, Katya would still conjure an exciting evening out of her. Two of the four had been spent in Katya's bedroom. Well, in the hallway, then the bedroom. But they'd watched dumb movies, and went out for drinks, not getting kicked out this time. 

But she was bored. And no one had come into the store in almost an hour. Maybe people didn't want to get their makeup done on a Friday evening. They were all out actually having a good time. Trixie had redone her lipstick three times since she'd clocked in. No one had noticed, but she didn't care so much. She liked the new shade, just slightly more red than pink. Trixie liked to think it was the color made when her and Katya kissed. 

Trixie picked at her nails, glancing at the clock, then at the door. Twenty minutes. Then she could go home. Or to Katya's. Either would make her very happy.

They hadn't talked about labels again, since it was mentioned briefly during their afternoon at the park. Katya had never said anything about needing any, and honestly, Trixie didn't feel much need for them either. But she did like that Katya told her she wouldn't be seeing anyone else. That always made her smile a little.

Trixie looked over at her boss, noticing that Max was heading to the back room. She wouldn't notice, or care really, if Trixie made a personal call.

Trixie searched the pockets of her dress for a moment, the blue fabric shifting before she pulled out her phone. She glanced over once more, before clicking on Katya's name, holding it up to her ear. 

She sat up on her counter, crossing her legs, her blue heels bumping back into the cupboard. 

“Katya?” She started, hearing the phone pick up, then perhaps fall, and a yell. 

“Yeah- Trixie-” there was movement, shifting for a while until Katya was there, and she could hear her breathing softly into the phone.

“Hey.” She said finally, a soft expression on her face when she heard her voice. “Are you okay?” Trixie asked, and she was just a little concerned.

“Oh, I'm fine, I was putting up some books, and well, I dropped the phone- don't worry, I’m good.” Katya said, and Trixie heard her sigh again. 

“That's nice to hear.” Trixie said, and her eyes focused on the clock, she was slightly disappointed. She really wanted to go. 

“Trixie?” 

Trixie hummed when she came back.

“You called me, кукла.” 

“Oh- right-” Trixie started, and shook her head a little before speaking again. “I know we've seen each other- every day this week, and over last weekend I guess- but I just wanted to know if you wanted to come over. You know, to my place. Maybe for dinner, you could meet Vi and Pearl.”

There was a beat of silence in which Trixie could practically see Katya leaning against the bookcase, thinking, chewing on the inside of her cheek. Her eyes were probably slightly narrowed.

“Yeah- sure.” She said, and Trixie was almost suspicious of how fine Katya seemed with this. In her opinion, meeting Pearl was like meeting the parents. And Katya didn't seem to mind this in the slightest.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not, I want to see what your bedroom looks like-” Trixie interrupted her and raised one of her eyebrows. Katya laughed. “Kidding- no, that sounds great.”

“Okay.” Trixie smiled a little wider. “How's eight?”

“Sounds lovely.” Katya replied, and Trixie could hear the smile in her voice. 

“How's work going?” Trixie asked, and she looked in the mirror at the station across from hers, running her fingers through her hair gently. 

“It's okay,” Katya began, and she sighed into the phone. “I wish you were here to keep me company.” 

Trixie just about felt her heart break at that, and she smiled a little. “When do you get off?” She asked, then caught herself, hearing Katya begin to retort. “Off work- when does your shift end?” Katya laughed. “I'm getting better at this.” She added, then smiled. 

Katya laughed loudly, and Trixie could feel it in her chest. It made her grin.

“Seven tonight.” Katya finally said, and Trixie looked at the clock. 

“Finally- okay, I'll be right over, your boss won't mind?”

Katya laughed lightly. “Don't worry- honestly, she left an hour or two ago.”

Trixie held the phone between her shoulder and her ear, yelling quickly towards the store room. “Max, I'm going I have a girlfriend emergency.”

She heard something mumbled in reply, and didn't hear anything else. So Trixie grabbed her purse and her pink leather jacket, proud that it matched her shoes. And both were faux leather, just because the real kind freaked her out.

“Katya?” She asked, confused by the silence as she walked out. 

“You called me your girlfriend.” Katya said after several beats of quiet.

She had. Trixie hadn't even realized it and she had. 

“I guess I did.” She said simply, and she found herself standing outside of Sephora, breath fogging in front of her. “It slipped out.” Trixie admitted. “If you don't want that-”

Katya interrupted her for the second time. Trixie couldn't feel her fingers. “No- I liked it.” Katya said quietly. “I didn't know if you wanted that- but…” she trailed off. “I guess I didn't know if I wanted that either, but I do- with you.”

Trixie couldn't breathe. She was standing still, in the middle of the sidewalk, still as the cold breeze chilled her bare legs and brushed through the flowing fabric of her dress. 

“Trixie?” Katya asked softly, and she was worried. Just like when Trixie hadn't called her. Now they were in the same situation. 

“Yeah.” She said back quietly. Katya wasn't Sharon. Katya wanted commitment. She wanted them to be together. She didn't see her as a burden, she didn't scare her. Katya was Katya. Sweet, and kind. So smart, and she made her laugh. She flew through moments like a butterfly and took Trixie with her. The two of them tumbling together, getting tangled. Trixie didn't want to pull away. She didn't want to break down, and she didn't want space between them. 

“What happened, baby?” 

Katya called her baby the first night they ended up together. When Katya was so gentle, and lovely. How had she not known about the commitment Katya craved? When she kissed her forehead, when she saw the disappointment and sadness in her eyes when she left that first time. 

Trixie didn't want to run away again. She didn't want to hurt Katya. And Trixie knew she deserved a good relationship. Katya deserved someone good, and she was giving her everything.

“I'm okay.” Trixie said carefully, her words quiet. “I'm okay- I'm…” she trailed off. “I'm good. We should make it official.” Trixie focused her eyes on the skyline, at the darkening sky. She smiled a little. “Yeah, let's make it official.”

Katya would ask her questions when she got to the bookstore. She would probably kiss her forehead like she'd done that first night. Katya would then hug her, because that was somehow more intimate than kissing with the two of them.

She stayed on the phone while she drove over, listening to Katya's chatter about exactly every memorable moment of her day. How it went, what she enjoyed, what she'd wished Trixie had been there for. She agreed and hummed in approval at the right moments. 

Trixie parked by the apartments, because the bookstore was only a block back, and she knew Katya walked. 

“I'll see you in a second, okay?” Trixie asked, and she got out of the car and began the walk down the sidewalk, glancing at her phone. She'd have a little while with Katya before she'd clock out. 

“Okay- I'll see you soon.” Katya said, and Trixie could hear her smile. 

“Okay.”

“Alright.”

Trixie was the one to hang up, and she didn't have to listen to the sound of her heels on the sidewalk for long, because she was pushing open the bookstore door, and stepping into the dark little shop. Katya had been crouched on the floor with a box of books, sorting perhaps, but when she saw her, she was standing. Her dress was black, and floaty, falling just below her knees. It had long sleeves, and Trixie wouldn't have thought anybody but her would look so beautiful in it.

“Hey-” Katya was saying, as she walked over, and her clunky black pumps were quiet on the old oriental rug that Trixie stood on.

“Hey.” Trixie said, and she smiled slightly. Katya looked relieved, and she smiled back.

She was in front of her, reaching down and taking both of Trixie's hands in her own, smiling still.

“We're good?” She asked, and Katya was searching her, waiting for an answer as she squeezed her hands gently. 

“We're good.” Trixie said, and Katya sighed, smiling at her happily. She untwined their hands and wrapped her arms around Trixie's waist, hugging her tightly. Katya's nose was against her neck, and she was wrapping her arms back around her. They stood like that for a long while. And when they pulled apart, Katya was smiling at her, leaning in to kiss her gently. 

“You're my girlfriend.” Katya hummed against her lips, and she was still smiling. 

“You're my girlfriend.” Trixie said in return, and she grinned at Katya. She kissed her again, and suddenly it didn't seem so scary anymore. Katya was there, and she was looking at her, just a few inches shorter, with a soft expression on her face. 

Trixie knew Katya was sure something had happened. But she didn't want to ruin the moment, she wanted to kiss the other woman, and linger close to her as long as she could. 

“Can we talk later?” Trixie asked, when their lips parted. And it didn't seem as ominous as it could've. 

Katya nodded slightly and hugged her tightly. Trixie liked the feeling of Katya against her. How her hands were cold, and she could feel them through her dress. But her body was warm, and so was her breath for the split second it was ghosting her neck. 

Trixie pulled away once more and looked at Katya, a pleasant expression on her lips. She reached up and messed up Katya's hair carefully, knowing that she preferred it that way, and Trixie didn't mind it. She thought Katya was beautiful all the time, not just when they both were all dolled up. 

“We can go early.” Katya said, and she was walking away from her, leaning behind the wooden counter to grab her bag and coat. Trixie was surprised she'd even brought one. Katya never wore coats. 

“You sure?” Trixie asked, and she straightened her jacket a little.

“Yeah, no one’s here-” Katya made her way back over to her, a bounce in her step and she grinned. “And I'd much rather not be.” 

Katya took her hand and dragged her out the door, locking it behind them. It was darker now, and colder. And she knew she needed to invest in some winter clothes, but Trixie couldn't bring herself to wear anything other than sundresses and light jackets. 

She was cold, but the hand in her own was colder, but Katya's shoulder was warm through the thin fabric. And Trixie found herself enjoying the moment, tucking some hair behind her ear quickly and looking down, seeing that their steps matched up, and the sound of both their heels against the sidewalk was very pleasant to her. 

Trixie smiled slightly and looked over at Katya, just as she had already done a million times, smiling gently, leaning over and kissing her cheek quickly. 

She had a girlfriend. A lovely girlfriend. Who was kind, and beautiful. And she was very funny, almost as weird as herself. Almost. 

Trixie fumbled with the door but managed to get it open on the second try, Katya holding the gate open while she struggled with keys. 

“You're lucky you're so pretty.” Katya told her as they walked up the stairs, Trixie regretting the decision of wearing stilettos. 

“Shut up-” Trixie added, and she laughed a little, glancing back over her shoulder at Katya.

“I am not the one who owns stoned tights.”

Katya looked aghast, her eyebrows raised. “You love those.”

“I know.” Trixie admitted, and they made it to the apartment doors. She looked over at Katya, then glancing down at the time on her phone. “Do you want to just come over now?” She asked. “I don't think anybody’ll mind. And Violet’s probably cooking already.”

“Sure- but that reminds me-” Katya was up close to her side, smirking at her, hand around her waist. “I need to get you to cook for me. I've heard of the talent you apparently possess.”

Trixie fake gagged. “You are so slimy.” She sighed loudly. “I will cook you dinner this weekend if you stop making that face at me.” 

Katya laughed and Trixie unlocked the door, pushing it open. 

“We're here-” she sang, and looked around for a moment. 

Violet and Pearl were where she assumed, Violet bustling around the kitchen with an apron on and everything. Pearl was on the counter, her legs crossed, reading the recipe slowly. 

“It's fucking lasagna, how hard can it fucki-” Pearl looked over and immediately smiled widely. “Hey guys-” she looked too excited, her eyes moving between the two of them. Probably taking in Katya's funeral chic attire and their hands clasped tightly together. Trixie suddenly had the urge to push Katya right back out that door and follow her into her apartment.

“Vi-” Pearl looked over at Violet, who was trying to do something with noodles in a casserole dish. “Vi-” Pearl smacked her shoulder quickly, and Violet turned around, her gaze switching between Katya and Trixie's faces just as Pearl’s had. She was smiling then too.

Katya maybe didn't get it, or maybe Trixie was over analyzing all of this, because Katya was still holding her hand and hanging up her coat, and floating over to the kitchen, towing her along in the process.

Trixie shot daggers at Pearl, hopefully telling her that ‘she better not be a bitch, and if she did, Trixie would skin her’.

“Katya, this is Pearl, and Violet.” Trixie smiled a little at her girlfriend. “Guys this is my… girlfriend, Katya.” The word felt foreign on her tongue, but she liked it, and she liked how Katya looked at her and grinned when she heard.

Katya pulled her hand away and went in for the hug with Pearl and Violet. Pearl looked stunned, because she wasn't a hugger, and because she didn't do affection with anyone other than Violet. But the latter seemed more than happy to hug Katya, and Trixie found it humorous how short she looked beside the two lanky creatures in the kitchen.

Pearl was looking at her with wide eyes. Having taken in the outfit, and the hair, the wild eyes and the red lipstick. As if saying ‘this is her?’ The opposite of anyone she'd ever dated. Katya was new, and beautiful, and she was more charismatic than she'd realized, starting up a conversation about work, and books, and lasagna with two of the most ‘chill’ and ‘emotionless’ people she knew. 

Trixie smiled encouragingly at Katya when the woman looked at her, linking her arm through hers. 

“So you guys met when Trixie slept over at your apartment?” Pearl asked bluntly. And Katya looked at her again and nodded.

“Yeah- it was a good first night, don't you think?” Katya was laughing slightly, or holding it in, because Trixie could see it in her eyes. She was brightening up the room, her laugh, her smile. Trixie was drunk on it, on her. She was beautiful.

“Very good.” Trixie grinned at her and bumped her shoulder gently. 

“Oh my god. You two are more disgusting than we are.” Pearl said, and Trixie knew there wasn't any venom. 

“Hey-” Violet said over her shoulder from where she'd begun dealing with dinner again. “We are the disgusting ones. We keep that trophy.” 

Pearl rolled her eyes, but Trixie saw the smile at her lips. 

“Okay-” Violet finally said, a few minutes later. She'd opened the oven and put the dish in, looking oddly domestic in her black jeans and old t-shirt, a dish towel over her shoulder. “Like ten or fifteen minutes. Then dinner.” 

Trixie let go of Katya's hand for a moment to go to the counter. She grabbed a bottle of wine and some glasses from the cabinet. “Someone's got the right idea.” Pearl said, and she helped her pour the alcohol into the glasses. 

Katya had started chattering at Violet, her attention already elsewhere. Pearl looked at her with a small smile. “Not what I expected, but I like her. A lot.” 

Trixie nodded. “Yeah, me too.” She paused and set down the bottle, looking over her shoulder at her girlfriend. “She's…” Trixie trailed off and shook her head. “She's the best.” 

Pearl winked at her and took a glass of wine for herself, handing one to Violet, who was leaning against the counter, Katya hovering in front of her, nodding, her eyes wide as something the dark haired woman was saying was very interesting.

“Here-” Trixie murmured, and she handed Katya the glass. She knew it was dumb, and that nothing was going on, and maybe she was a jealous creature by nature, but she didn't like sharing. Even when it was just with Violet, who was, well, everything she wasn't. Literally a model, taller than her, and Trixie sipped on her wine, standing beside Katya. 

The woman looked over at her, hair still as messy as before. “Right, Stacy?” She said, and Trixie's eyebrows went up, she swallowed her wine and nodded, smiling slightly at whatever had been said.

Katya seemed to have noticed something, because just for a second, a crease appeared between her brows, and she wrapped an arm around her waist reassuringly. Katya kept it there until Violet was pulling the lasagna out of the oven, and serving it up onto plates. Katya grabbed silverware, and Pearl got napkins. She felt very useless in that little moment, but Katya brought her back, smiling over her shoulder at her from the cutlery drawer.

They sat down at the table and Katya sat by her, taking her hand under the table, and Trixie felt a little better after that. She felt a little idiotic, being clingy, but not saying anything. Somehow Katya knew. And she could carry a conversation too, asking her questions that kept her engaged as they ate and drank. 

“Yeah, I'm an aspiring writer.” Katya said sheepishly, and she shrugged. “I'm writing a novel right now- I started again recently- and I'm not done-” she paused and Pearl interjected. “That's really cool-” she seemed genuine and she smiled. “Yeah- I'm nowhere near done- but it makes me happy.” She shrugged again, and Trixie squeezed her hand, running her thumb over her knuckles reassuringly. She had yet to read this novel, but Katya hadn't ever offered, and Trixie didn't want to push, even if she was more than curious. 

Katya looked over and smiled, maybe, hopefully feeling a little better about incompletion. 

The meal continued on, and Katya laughed, Trixie watched and added little sarcastic comments, making herself laugh and Katya too. Pearl rolled her eyes and Violet’s lips twitched. Things seemed to take a turn for the better, and all of them were just a little happier, thanks to the wine, Pearl was looking at Violet and nodding slightly. 

“I think we're going over to Violet's tonight.” Pearl said, and she yawned, putting down her empty glass on the table. “You know, let you guys christen that bedroom in peace.” 

Trixie rolled her eyes, even though she knew it was probably true. Katya was smirking over at her, her hand wrapping around her wrist, her thumb resting on her palm. 

“Thank you for coming to dinner- I assume we’ll be seeing more of you.” Pearl smiled and Katya smiled back. “I hope so.” She replied and Katya looked over at Trixie. Then they stood up, clearing the table quickly before exchanging goodbyes.

Trixie hugged Pearl and waved at Violet, who after saying goodbye to Katya, had gone to the door, getting her coat off the rack and putting it on. She smiled at her, and Trixie didn't ever think she'd understand that enigma of a woman.

The door was shut, and Trixie was looking back at Katya. She smiled a little and walked back over to her, kicking her shoes off in the process, leaving them by the door. 

“Do you want to show me your room?” Katya asked, and her hands were on her elbows, pushing Trixie's arms around her neck. She was laughing slightly and nodding, surprised that Katya was currently just a little taller than her. 

“You're short.” Katya said, and she kissed her gently. 

“I am not. Take off your damn shoes, I'll show you who's short.” Katya laughed too, and Trixie was pulling her in the direction of the bedrooms, then into her own. 

Katya’s lips tasted like wine, and she wondered when the last time she smoked was. Maybe she was holding off smoking, which made her weirdly feel special. Trixie shut the door behind her and watched Katya look around quickly, the light wasn't on, and Trixie still had her arms around Katya's neck. 

They were looking at each other, Katya smiling slightly, and Trixie doing the same. She leaned closer and kissed her. “There's-” Trixie kissed her again, breaking her off as Katya tried to speak, her arms around her waist. “A lot of-” Trixie was kissing her slowly, her lips moving down past her mouth, hand cupping her jaw. “Pink.” Katya finished finally, her voice more breathy than it had been before. She was kicking off her shoes, and pushing Trixie towards the bed. And she was the right height again, watching Trixie with those wide eyes when their lips broke apart. 

Katya’s lips were on her neck, leaning red smears against her skin. Trixie's fingers were unzipping Katya's dress, and she found herself breathless when Katya shoved it to the side, hovering over her with black stockings on her legs, the lacy parts at the top contrasting her skin. Her bra was matching, and Trixie was shaking her head. “Fuck-” she whispered. She shook her head and pulled Katya back down kissing her hard. 

Her dress was off next, and Katya was pulling at her bra, seated on top of her, straddling her hips.

Trixie let Katya take the control she knew she wanted, she wasn't one to argue with a stocking-clad very attractive woman who wanted to kiss her until she couldn't breathe. 

Katya's lips were on her neck and chest, Trixie's hands on the woman's body, murmuring for more. Her fingers drifted between her legs, and Katya let her breathe into her mouth, listening to the sounds that escaped her. Trixie was a moaning, writhing mess on the bed, Katya humming sweet adorations near her ear when her body shuddered against her. 

Then she was kissing her, slowly, gently. But soon Katya was the one asking for more, telling her she needed her. And Trixie was pushing Katya off her and kneeling between her knees on shaking legs. 

She had Katya, and she told her that, kissing her thighs and watching the woman above her moan her name, wanting and needing her. 

Trixie buried her head between Katya's strong thighs, holding onto Katya's hips gently, thumbs moving in slow circles over her sharp bows. 

She listened to Katya, feeling her hand in her hair, pushing her head down, and Trixie complied, continuing through the loud moan coupled with her name, then the release of tension in Katya's muscles. 

Trixie pulled away and looked at her, rising up and smiling lazily. Katya was smiling too. She didn't have the energy, at least for the moment, to do anything more than pull off Katya's stockings, leaving her bare in the light only created by the street outside. 

Katya stretched out on the bed, and Trixie looked at the mess she was. Her hair more tousled than ever, and pink lipstick on her jaw and neck. She was gorgeous and wonderful, and Trixie moved beside her, resting her chin on the heel of her hand.

“I didn't know you were the jealous type.” Katya said softly, and she'd thrown one of her arms over her eyes, removing it to look at her. “And like you'd think I'd go for Violet-”

Trixie leaned over and kissed the corner of her lips, putting an arm around her. “I would never think you'd go for her. I was more worried about what she'd decide to do to you.” 

Katya shook her head slightly and removed her arm from her eyes, resting it above her head on the pillows. 

“I'm sorry I got jealous.” Trixie said, and she looked at Katya, her eyebrows furrowing. 

“Don't worry, I kinda liked it.” Katya settled her hand over Trixie's, fingers moving over her skin slowly. 

Trixie smiled a little at the motion and moved closer, putting her head on Katya's chest, letting out a quiet sigh as she looked through the window, listening to the woman breathe. “I think I might be a little high maintenance.” Trixie said softly after a long moment of peaceful silence. “But I care about you so much. And it comes from… being screwed over in the past… but I really adore you.” Trixie smiled slightly, and watched as Katya looked at her. She was smiling a little too, leaning towards her and kissing her gently, holding her hand tightly. 

“I really like you.” Katya finally said, when she pulled away. “And I don't mind high maintenance. It keeps me on my toes.” She leaned in once again and kissed her once more. “You are perfect, кукла.” Katya whispered when they separated. 

Trixie felt herself blush, and she held Katya's gaze, smiling at her. “I think I might love you.” Trixie said, and she felt the weight of the words in her chest. Katya looked at her like she was a beautiful star, and she couldn't help but gaze back, lovestruck.

“I think I might love you too.” Katya said, and her voice was so quiet, the words murmured into the air. 

Trixie wrapped her arm tighter around Katya, squeezing her hand tightly in her own. She felt such a surge of affection and care for Katya, and it made her smile, her heart stuttering in her chest. 

Katya kissed her then, her eyes closing as the other woman leaned closer to her, her body warm against her own. 

When she breathed against Katya's lips, she was smiling at her, her eyes wide, Katya looking back at her. 

“We should shower.” Trixie said quietly. And she glanced at the pink smears of lipstick on Katya's neck. 

“Okay.” Katya said lazily, and she smiled a little again, leaning over and kissing her neck carefully. Katya continued to kiss her neck, and she felt her suck a mark into her skin. She couldn't do anything but lay still, her nails drifting along Katya's bare back.

“Shower…” Trixie repeated, and it was more than slightly halfhearted.

“You already said that, кукла…” Katya hummed against her skin, and Trixie glared at her for a second, even as she was smiling. She continued to lay still for another long while, her eyes drifting shut at some point. 

Katya was brushing hair out of her face minutes later, and pulling her towards the bathroom, out of bed. And Trixie was grumbling as she took her hand. She didn't want to get out of bed, even if Katya was being a lovely person and handing her a toothbrush. Trixie leaned against the counter, shamelessly watching Katya as she brushed. 

“I'm using yours.” Katya said simply with a small shrug. 

Trixie knew she didn't have her own, so she allowed it, handing it over after a moment. 

Katya approached her, standing in front of her, telling her quietly to close her eyes. And she felt the cold relief of the makeup wipe against her skin. Over her eyeliner and the rest of her face. Two wipes later, Trixie was feeling much more refreshed, and Katya was scrubbing at her own face much less gently. 

She got the shower started, waiting for the warm water for a moment, yawning quickly. She's stepped inside, Katya after her. It was small, but she didn't mind. Katya pressed up against her back, arms going around her waist in the water. It was warm, and Katya was a very good presence, her forehead against her spine. 

Eventually she broke away to grab her luffa, washing herself with it and some body wash. She liked how Katya got her back, how easily she was fitting into her life, into her room, and her bathroom. How she didn't mind sharing a toothbrush or emotional declarations that came probably a bit too early. 

Trixie returned the favor, washing Katya gently, getting rid of the lipstick on her neck, just as Katya had done for her. She didn't wash her hair at night, and if Katya did, she didn't make it known, and they got out. Trixie handed Katya a towel and got one for herself, wrapping it around herself. She wrung out her hair over the sink, letting it then fall onto her shoulders, still damp. Trixie spread some lotion onto her face, and Katya watched from near the doorway, leaning against the wall with a small smile on her lips.

Trixie rolled her eyes in her general direction. She put down the moisturizer on the counter and left the bathroom in search of pajamas, turning the light out on the way out Trixie found some nice underwear and a long (ish) t-shirt. Katya got hers and borrowed a shirt, a ridiculous pink one that had ‘Dolly’ in large cursive lettering on the front. Katya glared at her while she put it on. It was a little big on her, but she was tall, so it worked. But Katya was short, and it swallowed her, making Trixie grin. 

Katya went to her dress, and rummaged for a second, looking evidently for cigarettes. She found one and her lighter, leaning down for a second as she lit it. Katya only took a drag when she was near the window, propping it open just enough to breathe out of.

Trixie fell into bed, happy that for once, they hadn't ruined the sheets. The only light came from the window, and Trixie turned into her side, pulling the duvet over her body. She watched Katya smoke, smiling slightly to herself and perhaps to Katya too.

They stayed like that until Katya finished, and she flicked the thing out the window, and Trixie didn't have the energy to tell her not to. Then the other woman went back to the bathroom, and she heard her brush her teeth. Katya climbed into bed after that, and Trixie could only faintly smell smoke on her. But it smelled like Katya, so she liked it. 

“You have an unhealthy obsession with the color pink.” Katya said, and Trixie watched her, seeing that her eyes were already closed, laying on her back, hair splayed out behind her. 

“It's not unhealthy.” Trixie said, and she put an arm around Katya. She threw her leg over the other woman's and let out a quiet sigh. 

“It is, I’m assuring you right now.” Katya whispered. And she moved, leaning over and kissing her forehead gently. 

“Okay, I trust you.” Trixie managed, and she shut her eyes. Katya stayed quiet for a long moment. But she put her arm over Trixie's, and everything seemed quiet. Even the traffic outside had slowed, and the time seemed to seep by in lazy minutes. Katya's breathing became consistent, and she was relaxed and pliant against her. Trixie savored the moment, blinking slowly in the low light. She took in Katya, the silhouetted curve of her lips, and the gentle fluttering of her eyelashes.

Trixie let herself relax too, letting out a quiet breath and closing her eyes, pulling the duvet up so it would cover her. She fell asleep, just as Katya had. And the two of them fell together into a tangled daze of sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She knew a variety of things about Katya. That she only usually slept well after sex. That she did yoga in the mornings. That she was basically a beautiful butterfly, and when Trixie had said she loved her, when she said she thought she loved her, Katya had said she thought she loved her too. 
> 
> Katya was a complicated creature, but somehow, Trixie thought she figured her out, just a little. She understood how she needed coffee in the morning, and how she loved movies, and didn't care that Trixie didn't. She knew that Katya smoked about four or five times a day, and if she didn't, she got cranky. Trixie was almost sure she knew Katya as well as anybody could. Katya wasn't normal, she was beautiful and otherworldly. She was different from everyone and the most similar to herself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this. It's my baby and I adore writing it.  
> Please comment, it makes me so happy.  
> I love you all, lovely internet people.  
> ♡

They had woken up to each other too many times to count. Rolling over and looking at Katya in the morning light was becoming common. But that absolutely did not mean that Trixie was going to get used to it. Katya was always so beautiful in the morning. When she was still sleeping, when the curtains were open, when the room was cold but the bed was warm.

Trixie let out a quiet sigh of contentment and carefully ran her fingertips over the back of Katya’s hand, which was resting on the other woman’s stomach. Her skin was soft, and her red nail polish was chipped just a little at the top of her nail.

She knew a variety of things about Katya. That she only usually slept well after sex. That she did yoga in the mornings. That she was basically a beautiful butterfly, and when Trixie had said she loved her, when she said she thought she loved her, Katya had said she thought she loved her too. 

Katya was a complicated creature, but somehow, Trixie thought she figured her out, just a little. She understood how she needed coffee in the morning, and how she loved movies, and didn't care that Trixie didn't. She knew that Katya smoked about four or five times a day, and if she didn't, she got cranky. Trixie was almost sure she knew Katya as well as anybody could. Katya wasn't normal, she was beautiful and otherworldly. She was different from everyone and the most similar to herself. 

“Are you trying to wake me up gently like we live in a movie?” Katya mumbled quietly, and she put her arm around her, pushing her nose against her neck. It was cold, but Trixie didn't ever want to pull away.

“I was just admiring the texture of your skin.” Trixie said while smiling, and she closed her eyes for a second, breathing in the smell of Katya’s hair, which reminded her of rosemary.

“Rough? Like someone who does large amounts of physical labor?” Katya asked her, and her voice was slightly muffled.

“Yes, exactly.” Trixie said easily, and she blinked her eyes, glancing around her room.

Katya laughed slightly against her skin, and Trixie found herself smiling again.

“Do you want to go out for breakfast?” Katya asked after a comfortable silence had passed, her voice was still muffled, but she brought her head up, looking at Trixie with slowly blinking eyes.

“That sounds nice.” Trixie said softly, and she smiled at Katya leaning in and kissing her lips gently. Katya smiled against her, and Trixie smiled too when she pulled away.

“For once you’re awake before me.” Katya said, and Trixie didn't mind when Katya put her leg over hers, resting her head just below her shoulder. She was running the tips of her nails gently over Trixie’s arm. Not unlike how Trixie had been doing before Katya had awoken.

“Oh-” Katya started, and she glanced over at Trixie. “I was thinking, we have the whole day, we could go to the coffee shop, up the street. I need to write, and I don’t like doing it alone..” She trailed off and Trixie smiled softly. 

“I’ll doodle while you write.” Trixie replied. “Or maybe you can give me a book recommendation and I can finally get back into reading.” 

Katya nodded and settled back against her. A little while later she was getting restless, and Trixie really didn't want her to leave the bed. It was warm, and they were together. So she reached over, grabbing the woman’s lighter and cigarettes from the bedside table, handing them to her.

“You don't like the smell-” Katya began, and Trixie shushed her, shaking her head. 

“I don't mind it as much anymore.” She said, and Katya watched her for another moment, before she sat up a little, leaning against the headboard. She lit the cigarette, and Trixie rested her head against her thigh. Katya began slowly moving her fingers through it. Katya stopped fidgeting. Trixie dozed for a bit, and enjoyed the company, and the feeling of Katya’s nails against her scalp.

Trixie didn't mind the smoking anymore. Not really anyway. She didn't want Katya to smoke, because she knew it was awful for her. At the same time she knew Katya was aware of that as well. So she didn't bring it up. The smell reminded her of Katya now, and she didn't want Katya to leave the bed for the window.

Katya eventually finished up, and the end was disposed of, Katya was leaning her head back, fingers pushing though trixie’s hair slowly. 

“You okay?” Trixie hummed, she opened her eyes and looked at Katya.

Katya looked down at her, her eyebrows furrowed for a moment, and Trixie sat up, sitting beside Katya. The other woman was smiling slightly now, the crease between her brows gone.

“Yeah-” Katya said, and she glanced at her again, moving far too quickly for seven in the morning. She was then hovering over Trixie, who had somehow ended up on her back with Katya hovering over her, grinning widely.

“I'm-” she kissed Trixie. “Very-” then did so again. “Happy.” 

Trixie leaned her head up and kissed Katya the last time.

She was happy too. Happier than she’d been in ages. And the two of them, everything they’d done, it felt like they were in a movie. A very gay, very broke movie. But Trixie like cliches. And she liked Katya a lot too. So she was okay with living in a dream of professed love and late nights, morning light and hot coffee. She was more than okay with that. 

. . . 

“Are you almost ready?” Katya called from the doorway, she’d leaned into the room, watching as Trixie put on her lipstick, the new shade that she liked very much. Katya had gotten dressed in her clothes from the day before, and done her makeup in all of fifteen minutes. Trixie had taken closer to thirty, now edging on thirty five to get the perfect collared shirt, the perfect sweater, the perfect jeans, and finally shoes. Pink chunky heels that matched the button up.

“Yes,” Trixie fixed her hair quickly, letting it fall over her shoulders in loose curls. “Yeah-” she looked back at her, smiling. “Ready.” Trixie grabbed a purse from her closet and shoved all the essentials in it.

“You are a very high-maintenance woman, кукла.” Katya said, and Trixie looked at her, shrugging with a smile.

“You love it.” She added, and Katya nodded. 

“I do.” She added simply, and Trixie’s heart felt like it beat off tempo for a moment.

“We need your laptop, right?” She asked, and Katya nodded. 

They stepped out of the apartment, and Trixie fiddled with the door until it locked. 

Katya crossed the hallway and unlocked her door much more smoothly, smirking over her shoulder at Trixie, who rolled her eyes before following her inside.

Trixie lingered by the door, eyes falling on the bookshelves. And while Katya rummaged around, looking for her laptop, Trixie skimmed the shelves for something she could waste some time reading.

“Here-” Katya was reaching in front of her, handing her a small novel. “And-” she handed her a notebook and a pen. “For doodling.” Trixie smiled and took both.

“The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle?” She asked, following the other woman as they walked out of the apartment. Trixie stowed the notebook in her purse. Katya had found a tote bag and had put her computer in it, along with two books and her cigarettes.

“Yeah- I liked it when I was a teenager.” Katya said, and smiled. 

“Are you comparing my reading skill and level to that of a fifteen year old?” Trixie asked, and Katya smiled wider.

“It’s very good, you’ll enjoy it. And if you don't, you can always just bother me.”

“So spilling coffee on your laptop?” They headed down the stairs and Katya held the door open at the bottom. 

“Exactly.”

Trixie knew they probably could've driven. And given the weather, perhaps that would've been the better option. But she liked walks, they could hold hands, she could give her commentary on whatever they happened to come across. Katya was, of course, not cold, her jacket draped over her arm, even if it was forty degrees outside.

Katya’s hand was cold in her own, her own hands were cold too, but she was content. Even if it was freezing, and she should've brought a jacket, Katya was still beside her, looking stunning as ever, her red lipstick just as perfect as it always was.

“Am I ever going to read your novel?” Trixie asked, and she looked over at Katya, listening to the sound of their shoes on the sidewalk.

“I didn't know you were interested.” Katya replied, and she glanced over.

“I am.” Trixie added.

Katya was quiet for a second, and she squeezed her hand gently. “You can most certainly read it.” She smiled briefly over at her. “No one’s ever read it.” She paused. “Other than me, of course.”

“Well, I feel honored.” Trixie said, and she bumped Katya’s shoulder gently.

Trixie held the door open for Katya, and they both stepped inside the coffee place.

It was warm, a glowy space with windows that looked out to the street, and a cozy yellow light from vintage fixtures. It was entirely to cool, but Trixie liked the art on the walls, and the coffee was good.

“Grab a table, I can order stuff for us.” She said, and Trixie leaned over and glanced at the case with the baked goods. 

“Can I get a coffee, and a danish?” She asked, looking at Katya, who nodded and stepped into line. 

Trixie found them a table in the corner, it was cozy, and she was very glad that there was a space heater set up near them. She looked over at Katya in line, who was leaning against the counter, talking seriously to the woman behind the counter as she pointed out the danish, then what looked to be a muffin for herself. The barista was nodding and smiling, leaning forward and nodding again. Trixie crossed her legs and got out the book Katya had recommended, frowning slightly. She didn't like it when people flirted with Katya. And the night before it had just been Violet, who was a flirty person, and that had only been mildly annoying. But this was making her tap her nails against the table as she looked between the words in her book, to the counter, where Katya had taken a slight step back, carrying the danish and the muffin over to the two of them.

“Thank you,” Trixie said, and she smiled slightly. “I can get the coffee if you want.” She suggested, and Katya took a seat, crossing her legs and unwrapping her muffin. Trixie went to linger by the counter, tucking her hair back behind one of her ears. She might be a jealous bitch, but that didn't mean she was going to be a bitch to Katya. That was her promise to herself. She could be a bitch to herself sometimes, maybe to Kim, never to Katya. 

“Thanks,” was all she murmured to the barista, and fixed her own coffee how she liked it, and did the same with Katya’s. Trixie was a bitch on the inside, not on the outside, and she was also pretty sure Katya had no idea what was going on most of the time. It wasn't her girlfriend’s fault she was so damn beautiful and charismatic.

Trixie brought the coffee back to the table, sliding Katya’s cup over. She smiled and bumped her ankle with her heel in thanks. Then Katya started to type, and Trixie drank she coffee, knowing it would make her think like less of an asshole. Then she opened her book and got to reading. Katya bumped her with her foot every once in a while, and smiled at her. And she could tell from her expression that she might've felt a little bad for asking Trixie to come with her, because Trixie didn't love reading. But she didn't mind, it was time they got to spend together, and when it came to that, Trixie didn't really care what they did. So she sipped her coffee, and ate her pastry, and read the book. Which she did end up liking very much.

A while later, Trixie was engrossed, her finger moving in slow circles around the rim of her coffee cup. Katya tapped her hand gently, looking at her with a clear expression.

“Do you want to go?” She asked, and as Trixie had finished her coffee twenty minutes before, she agreed and stood up.

Katya packed her things up too, her dress moving around her calves. She had her tote bag over her shoulder, and was smiling slightly at her.

Trixie followed her out, and they linked their arms together, she bumped Katya’s shoulder with her own.

“You're more jealous than I thought кукла.” Katya said, and Trixie looked down at the ground.

“I thought I hid it pretty well.” She spoke, more thinking out loud, but she heard Katya faintly laugh. 

“I'm very receptive towards you, I'm sure the normal person wouldn't have noticed.” Katya told her, and she stopped walking, looking at Trixie, who had found a lovely place on the sidewalk to stare at.

“Look at me.” She murmured, and Trixie did just so, meeting her eyes. Katya squeezed her hand gently. “There’s never a reason to be jealous.” Katya said carefully. “You've got me, I’m yours. Nothing else.”

Trixie looked down at their hands, biting down on her lip for a moment. “Okay.” She replied carefully. “I know…” she began, “I know, I just… get in my own head.” 

Katya continued to look at her for a moment, perhaps trying to find something more in her words. She brought her other hand up and pushed some hair out of Trixie’s face gently. “I know you do.” Katya said. “Because I would be crazy to want anything else than what I have.” She squeezed her hand.

Trixie tried a slight smile, and Katya’s broadened into a grin.

She felt guilty, but Katya was pulling that feeling out of her, making her smile, squeezing her cold hand with her own equally frozen one.

“How do you feel about baking?” Katya asked her, and she’d started walking again, taking Trixie with her. They stepped in sync, sunlight falling down through the leaves above them.

“I like it.” Trixie said, and she shrugged. “Why?” She countered.

“I wanted to make cookies, but it’s no fun on my own.” 

“I’ll help you.” Trixie offered. She looked over with a small smile.

Katya looked very happy after that, and they both hurried in the direction of the apartment.

. . . 

“It’s flour, brown sugar, butter-” Trixie was reading from her phone, Katya was rummaging through cupboards, setting stuff on the counter. “Eggs, baking soda-”

Katya glanced over from the fridge. “You can eat eggs, right?” She asked, and Trixie nodded. All the stuff was out, and Trixie leaned across Katya to preheat the oven. 

“Oh- hello.” Katya said, and she smiled. Trixie rolled her eyes and clicked a few buttons on the oven. “Hello.” She replied, and smiled just a little too.

Trixie moved back and started to measure things out and mix them in the bowl. Katya stood beside, her watching curiously.

“You've never made cookies.”

“Nope.” Katya answered, and Trixie looked at her for a second.

“Am I making you cookies?” 

Katya crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at the other woman. “We’re making cookies.” She said in return. Trixie’s eyebrow only raised further.

Trixie shook her head and looked at Katya once more. “I’ll make them-” she paused. “Only if you admit that I’m making these. And that you are my lovely assistant.”

“Fine.” Katya finally said, after she has given the chocolate chips another lingering glance.

“Fine-” Trixie pressed for her to continue.

“I’m your beautiful assistant and you're making me cookies.”

“I didn't say anything about beautiful.” Trixie remarked, and laughed loudly when Katya looked aghast. 

“You don't deserve me.” Katya said, and there was a small smile on her face, even as she tried to fake a frown.

“True.” Trixie said, and she stirred the batter, watching as Katya’s gaze was fixed on the contents of the bowl.

After a while, after Trixie had put the cookie dough onto a try, and it was baking away in the oven, Katya was pressed against her side, looking intently at the side of her face. “Are they almost done?” She asked, and glanced quickly at the oven.

“Look at the timer.” Trixie said, and Katya let out a loud sigh. Trixie glanced at the timer. “Ten minutes.” Katya sighed again. She didn't want to tell her they'd have to cool too. 

She’d already rinsed the dishes, Katya had insisted that she could put them away later, so Trixie had resisted cleaning up.

“Can you paint my nails?” Katya asked after some seconds of silence. 

Trixie looked at her for a moment, Katya stared back at her expectantly.

“They're all chipped.”

“Okay.” Trixie said. And she wasn't fully sure why Katya couldn't do it. Even if she was more than happy to do so. “Any particular reasoning behind this request?” She asked, and Katya was already turning to get the nail polish. 

She glanced back over here shoulder. “Because your nails are always beautiful, кукла.” 

Trixie was still smiling when Katya came back, holding a bottle of cheap, red nail polish. She sat up on the counter and, handed it over to Trixie. She didn't mind having an excuse to hold the woman’s hand for a couple minutes.

Trixie leaned against the cabinet and took Katya’s hand carefully in her own, beginning to repaint the tips of her nails. It was easy, she’d been painting her own nails for years, painting Kim’s for almost as long. And Katya’s fingers were slim, somehow gently squeezing her hand as she leaned over Trixie’s head, watching.

“Switch.” Trixie said softly, and Katya pulled her hand away in favor of the other. Trixie held her hand still as she moved the brush slowly. “There-” 

Katya pulled her hand away and looked at both. “Perfect.” She looked at Trixie and hopped off the counter, pressing her lips against her cheek gently. “Thank you.” She was smiling widely.

“Of course,” Trixie was smiling too. 

She found herself lost for a moment, looking at katya, the two of them gazing at each other in a moment of quiet stillness that peacefully filled the room.

The timer beeped loudly.

Trixie pulled her eyes away from the wide, blinking eyes of the other woman. Cookies, yes cookies. 

Katya was grinning beside her as she pulled them out, the oven glove protecting her from any severe burn.

“They have to cool.” Trixie said, and Katya groaned.

“Do they really?” She asked her, and Trixie shrugged. “I mean, I’d like to keep my esophagus in working condition.”

Katya shot her a moody glance but still stood beside her, crossing her arms.

“What should we do while we wait?” Trixie asked, and she moved to stand in front of the woman, carefully uncrossing her arms and holding her hands gently, careful of her nails.

Katya rolled her eyes but smiled. “What do you think?” Katya asked, and she wrapped her arms around Trixie’s neck, resting her elbows on her shoulders as she leaned in, smiling against her lips.

Trixie thought she could've lived in that moment forever, pressed against Katya in the warm kitchen, the smell of cookies in the air. With a familiar woman’s arms around her, her hair in her face and her lips commanding attention as she pressed them against her own. Trixie rested one of her hands on the counter, the other around Katya’s waist. She was sure that red nail polish was now somewhere on her skin, or on her sweater, but Trixie couldn't bring herself to care. She had all she needed for the moment. Katya seemed content in keeping her there too, the cookies all but forgotten as they lost themselves in each other


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this.  
> Life got in the way of writing. She’s back though, feeling overwhelmed but happy that this is finally here!  
> I’m back, baby!  
> Please comment, it makes me happy.

“I think I want to quit smoking.” Katya said suddenly, from where she was leaning against Trixie, her body a warm weight as they sat on the couch. 

Katya had slowly somehow gotten Trixie to sit against the arm of the couch, and had positioned herself between her legs, the blanket covering both of them. Trixie had an arm wrapped around Katya's waist, her fingers against her bare skin under the old t-shirt her girlfriend was wearing.

She'd been persuaded into watching another movie. Katya had been engrossed while Trixie had been lightly dozing, her chin resting on Katya's shoulder, head leaning against the other woman’s.

“Hm?” Trixie asked, and she was waking herself up, blinking blearily as Katya’s living room came into focus.

“I want to quit smoking.” Katya repeated, and she was leaning her head back, looking at Trixie. She sounded more decisive than before.

“Really?” Trixie asked, and her eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Yeah.” She replied after a long beat of silence.

“Why?” 

“Well…” Katya trailed off and somehow grabbed Trixie’s hand, her fingers moving over her knuckles slowly. “I know you don't like it-”

Trixie interrupted her quickly. “I don't mind it-”

“You don’t mind it-” Katya corrected and continued. “But I don’t want to get cancer, or die on you unexpectedly…”

Trixie smiled slightly and squeezed Katya’s hand gently.

“So I’m gonna quit. Starting now.”

“Officially?” Trixie asked her, and she raised an eyebrow just slightly.

Katya nodded and Trixie nodded too.

“Well I support you.” She replied easily, and Katya leaned back against her.

“You can go back to sleep.” The other woman said gently, and Trixie let out a quiet sigh, pressing her nose back against Katya’s neck gently.

The television illuminated the room, along with the occasional lights from the street outside that would somehow make their way up to Katya’s apartment. 

Katya was warm, even though she liked the cold, and Trixie might've been a slight bitch, but Katya found her kind and beautiful, even under the all the makeup and pink.

She drifted in and out of actually sleeping, remembering little moments of Katya laughing so quietly it could've been a sigh, or when she held onto her hand tighter than normal.

But at some point Katya turned off the TV, and the room was fully dark. Katya turned around, settling herself against Trixie’s chest, her breathing slowing down. Trixie could feel her breathing near her neck, and the chill of one of her hands against her arm.

“I love you, baby.” Katya murmured. And Trixie didn't know if she’d really said it, or if it had been a dream. She didn't mind either way. Sleep was tugging at her consciousness, pulling her under along with Kaya.

. . . 

“Trixie-” A pointy finger was poking her gently in the ribs.

“Katya-” she said back, sighing quietly, her voice was low, and tired, but she was blinking her eyes open, looking at the woman who was now almost entirely on top of her.

Katya was blinking right back at her, eyes entirely too bright for the early hour. 

“Baby- I think we should move.”

Trixie watched her from under heavy eyelids, nodding at some point.

Katya’s warmth was gone when she stood up, stretching her arms up. Trixie could hear things popping and it slightly worried her. But she was focused on being cold for a second, more than a second as Katya stood still for a moment before pulling Trixie up too, taking her with her as she walked back through the little apartment.

She was holding onto Katya’s hand tightly. A relieved sigh escaping her lips when they got into bed. She glanced over at the familiar tapestry on the wall. Katya caught her eye for a moment and smiled lazily. 

“Go back to sleep, baby.” She said simply, and put her arm around her, a light weight on her body.

A feeling of mutual relief seemed to wash over both of them. Katya was relaxed against her, her usually tense muscles lose. Trixie was brushing her fingertips slowly over the inside of Katya’s wrist, counting the whooshing sounds the fan made. Katya had put a leg over her own, and her bony knee, though it could've been uncomfortable, really wasn't.

Trixie blinked slowly and looked up at the ceiling, letting out a quiet sigh and tilting her head to the side so she could press her nose into Katya’s hair. It smelled like the expensive herbal shampoos that filled the bathroom. It made her smile just a little.

“You're not asleep…” Katya murmured from where she’d nuzzled against her neck. 

Trixie didn't know how they got so tangled up while sleeping, or how they didn't accidentally kill each other while doing so.

“You’re not asleep either.”

“I’m actually trying though, and I can hear your brain from here.”

“I’m thinking about you. Does that make it any better?”

“Hm…” Trixie could feel Katya talking against her neck. “Yes, you can continue, just think more quietly.”

“I'll try.” Trixie pulled the blanket slightly up so that it covered both of their shoulders.

A while passed, and Katya eventually fell asleep breathing against her neck, sighing quietly. 

Trixie stared up at the ceiling for as long as she managed to keep her eyes half-open for just a little while. Eventually she let herself relax and close her eyes, falling asleep a little while after Katya. The tapping sound of the fan was a constant in the room.

. . . 

When morning broke in Katya’s apartment, the sunlight would stream in through the windows. And though it somehow got incredibly dark in the evenings, dawn was bright. It always woke her up. Katya was usually awake before her anyway, stretching in the living room or dirtying the dishes with three cups of coffee.

“Trixie-” Came a loud shout from outside the bedroom, and Trixie blinked her eyes slowly, momentarily blinded by the open windows. “Trixie, baby-” Katya sang her voice loudly, and she was left glaring at the wall, sighing softly and sitting up in bed.

She pulled her t-shirt down slightly, running her fingers through messy hair. She felt around on the bedside table for a hair tie, not finding the usual three cigarettes and lighter. She’d thought Katya would forget about quitting. Perhaps she’d keep doing so and not mention it. It wouldn't have surprised her.

Trixie put her hair up into a ponytail, some of her baby hairs falling out at the base of her neck. She didn't have the energy to redo it. 

“Coming-” 

“No, stay in there, I just wanted you awake.” 

Trixie was more than suspicious, sitting back against the pillows, crossing her legs off the side of the bed. The metal grommets on the tapestry across from her tapped on the wall every few seconds.

She waited perhaps another minute or two before peering over into the empty hallway.

“Katya,” she called, more concerned now that a silence had fallen for a few moments.

“Stay put, I’m coming-“

Trixie sighed again and stood up, making the bed quickly, and slightly messily.

Katya was coming in a second or two later with two plates balanced in her hands, coffee cups and what looked like some sort of pastry on them. She had changed from pajamas into some black leggings and a red sweater that looked far too comfortable to be socially acceptable. Trixie had guessed that her shoes had been discarded by the door. 

“You're not in bed.” 

Katya was looking at her, obviously alarmed for some reason.

“I thought you fell doing a handstand or something and shattered your back, I was about to come check on you and the deafening silence.”

“I was making you breakfast in bed. I guess now it’ll have to be breakfast on bed, because you had to be so proactive.” Katya was teasing, a slight smile on her lips when she looked at her, handing over a plate.

Trixie took it with a smile, leaning over once Katya sat down beside her to kiss her shoulder and lean her head against her for a moment.

“Thank you.” She hummed, and Katya turned her head to smile back at her.

“You’re very welcome.”

Trixie sipped her coffee and took a bite of her croissant.

“Did you go out this morning and get these?” 

“Yeah, I woke up earlier than usual.” 

“What time?” Trixie asked, just a little concerned, she woke up at seven on a late day.

“Five.” Katya gulped down some coffee. “My body wants nicotine,”

Trixie nodded a little and her eyes widened. Katya had actually quit.

“Can I do anything?” She asked, after a comfortable pause, and the other woman shook her head, she could feel her bony chin against her shoulder.

“I'll probably be drinking more coffee- second cup of the day.” Katya gestured to the cup in her hands briefly. “If I feel super irritable I’ll let you know- just so you don't think I hate you, or that I’m pmsing.”

“How do you feel right now?” Trixie asked her, and she leaned her head over Katya’s for a brief moment. 

“Jittery, a little out of it, but you're helping me be more present.”

Trixie felt her heart tighten. She nodded and smiled just slightly. “I’m proud of you.”

“I’m kinda proud of me too.” She paused before continuing. “I don’t want to die on you anytime soon.”

“You sound like you’re pretty committed.” Trixie said softly, and she reached out for her croissant, pulling it in half so that she could eat some of the soft bit in the middle. She moved her legs so that she sat cross legged on the comforter. 

Katya pulled away from leaning against her and looked at her unblinkingly, her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. Her red nails looked shiny in the morning light, she found herself looking at them for a couple seconds too long.

“I am.” She said, and she continued to look at Trixie with those wide eyes, daring her to say the same.

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Cause I am too, and I’d be awkward if this entire relationship had been one sided.”

Katya’s serious expression broke into a smile and she leaned over to kiss her, their lips brushing for a few seconds before Trixie pulled away. 

She ate another bite of her croissant, Katya did the same. Trixie grabbed her coffee and took a careful sip, afraid of it being too hot. It wasn’t.

They finished breakfast in relative quiet. Trixie looked out the big window in Katya’s room that she liked so much, the morning sun lighting up the room. It made Katya look like she was glowing, and Trixie could feel the slight warmth against her skin.

Trixie put her cup down on the beside table, leaning over quickly and squeezing Katya’s shoulder. “I’m gonna shower, don’t do anything stupid.”

Katya just looked at her, smiling lightly. “You never know, I might attempt that killer handstand you mentioned earlier.”

“If you survive that, I get to kill you.”

“Deal.”

Trixie rolled her eyes and got up off the bed, walking the short distance to the bathroom. 

She started the water, getting it as hot as she could stand. Trixie pulled her t-shirt off, leaving it on the counter with her underwear. Then she got fin, and used Katya’s fancy soap, which always smelled lovely. And she got to use it a couple times a week now. 

Trixie washed her hair quickly, fingers running through the now smooth mess with conditioner on them. She washed it out shortly, and turned off the water, stepping out and wrapping a towel around her chest. Trixie brushed her teeth quickly, running the sink for a moment.

When she emerged from the bathroom, hair put up in a bun, any remnants of their breakfast was gone, and her girlfriend was reclined like a stretching cat on the bed, on her phone, scrolling through something. Her eyes flicked over when she stepped out, and she raised an eyebrow, obviously seeing no reason for subtlety as she looked at Trixie in her towel.

“Go back to instagram.” Trixie said, and she walked across the room to the dresser, opening the drawer she kept a few shirts in. She could wear her jeans from the day before.

“I’m just enjoying the view-“

Trixie looked over her shoulder again and watched Katya watch her. “How’d that work out last time?”

“Pretty well.” Katya seemed a little too proud of herself, grinning like an idiot on the bed. 

Trixie shook her head and got dressed again, grabbing some leggings and a t-shirt, pulling it over her head. She was surprised that the other woman hadn’t wolf whistled at her. 

She returned to the bed and sat down before getting into a similar position as the other woman, on her side, looking at her. 

“You’re an idiot.” Trixie said, and she was smiling. 

“I’m vocal about my interests.”

“You're objectifying my body.”

“You objectify my body all the time, you squeeze my arms too much- I feel violated.”

“Why do you feel violated if you’re the one asking me to feel your arms?”

Katya thought, searching for a retort. Somehow, she couldn’t find one, and settled for sticking her tongue out at the other woman. 

“Are we even?” Trixie asked, “I’ll choose to forget how obsessed you are with your arms if you refrain from talking to me in public-“

Katya’s eyes narrowed but a slight smile still played at her lips. “I get to perform my own spoken word poem at your funeral.”

Trixie grinned. “Fair.”

She leaned in after a moment and kissed Katya slowly. She felt Katya smile against her lips, and the other woman pushed her gently back, hovering above her for a moment, a soft expression on her face when she moved closer, her fingertips gentle when she pushed some hair that had fallen from her bun from her face.

“What are you doing today?” Katya asked her quietly. 

“You- probably.” Trixie grinned and her girlfriend shook her head, laughing just slightly.

“No work- Pearl won’t make me come over for dinner?”

“I don't think so, unless you want to. I think Violet’s over- we could have a lovely family brunch.”

Katya’s eyes widened just slightly. “I think you should stay over here.”

“You think so?” Trixie asked, teasing a little. “I could go for brunch.”

Katya shook her head and wrapped her arms around the other woman, her chin pressing into her shoulder. 

“You’re hanging out over here.”

“You won’t let me leave, will you.”

Katya shook her head.

“Okay.”

Trixie wrapped her arms back around her. She didn’t smell like smoke so much. Trixie figured she might miss it a little. At the same time, she was happy that her girlfriend wouldn’t be getting cancer soon. That was a relief. 

Katya had her knee pushed between Trixie’s and she was pulling her damp hair down, running her fingers through it gently. She closed her eyes for just a moment. Time passed slower in these short spans. When they were together, when she got Katya to sit still for a while, which was becoming more often and easier to do. Probably because Trixie always liked doing this, and Katya humored her, insisting that she loved doing nothing for hours, even when Trixie could see her leg bouncing under the table as they ate breakfast on the weekends. But they got even, when Katya made her watch disturbing movies and try her cooking that she know she’d tried so hard on. It was worth it. 

. . . 

 

“I’m gonna have a holiday party.” Katya said out of nowhere, as they were walking down the stairs, having finally left the apartment, the both of them having taken another hour and a half to leave the bed and get ready. Trixie let the door shut behind her. Katya apparently needed more coffee, and she wanted hot chocolate, so it worked.

“Cool- am I invited?”

Katya glared back over her shoulder, her hands busy buttoning up a denim jacket before she reached over and linked their arms together. Trixie put her hands in her pockets, the fringe on her jacket tapping gently on her shoulders while they walked. She was the same height as Katya. Something that never happened. Her girlfriend wore boots while she was in wedges. They were really trying their hardest, but were only three inches, while the other woman had chosen a more daring option.

“Yes- idiot, you’re invited.”

“Who else?” She asked, turning her head just a little. Her hair was bouncy, maybe a little unruly, and it fell in her face, tickling her cheeks in the cold wind.

“Ginger, Pearl, Violet- I guess… some friends from a while back, I’ll introduce you. Sasha and Shea. You should invite some people.”

Trixie nodded and smiled a little. Maybe she'd finally be able to convince Fame and Kim that Katya was real, and that she wasn’t actually a figment of her lonely and very gay imagination.

“Why the sudden surge of holiday spirit?” She asked, and raised an eyebrow.

“I’m happy, I want to celebrate.” Katya grinned and she paused as they reached the coffee shop, opening the door for her. Trixie swore she saw something else in Katya’s eyes, but it was soon gone. The place was somewhere she hadn’t been, but apparently the other woman had, as she was already waltzing up to the front and ordering for the both of them, expertly shoving off Trixie’s offer to pay.

They leaned against the counter, waiting for beverages. Trixie was grateful for the warmth of the establishment, because she really wasn’t built for winter or cold.

Katya was fidgeting with a straw she’d picked up, ripping the paper covering repeatedly as she looked back out the window.

“You okay?” Trixie asked, and her eyebrows furrowed just a little bit. 

Katya looked back at her with a confident expression, the smile back, teasing lightly on her red painted lips. 

“Yeah- just thinking.”

Trixie was still just slightly worried, perhaps it was the season. She always got a little down during December. 

“When’s your get together going to be?” She nudged the other woman's shoulder gently.

“Tomorrow night.” 

Trixie was a little surprised, but excited. She liked parties, even if it meant meeting quite a few new people who she did not know at all. It would be good to meet Katya’s friends. She wanted to get to know them. 

Trixie grabbed her drink and so did her girlfriend. Katya turned to walk back out, and she followed closely. 

“Katya- what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Katya said quickly, and she spent the next moments looking anywhere but at her.

Trixie rolled her eyes and stayed quiet for a little while.

“Something’s wrong…” She said softly, and she reached out to brush her fingertips against her girlfriend’s jacket, she stopped walking and made Katya do the same.

“It’s just Christmas- the holidays, I don't have good memories from them, and I’ve been thinking for a bit… About all of that.”

“From when you were younger?” She asked.

Katya nodded just barely but stayed silent.

It was freezing outside, and Trixie wanted to keep walking, but she wasn’t sure if the other woman would open up at all. She hadn’t spoken about her past at all. Not anything other than she’d moved to the US when she was young.

“My family was never close- you saw that awful picture on the bookshelf. My mother held us together just barely... The perfect little family…” She trailed off, slight malice in her tone. “But my father and her always picked fights during this time of year. They were absolutely toxic… Awful parents in an awful marriage.”

Trixie nodded a little. She hadn’t let go of her arm. “Let’s go home.” She said softly, after an expanding silence had fallen.

Trixie knew she meant Katya’s apartment when she said that. And she held her hand, even though it was freezing and she was sure her pockets would be warmer.

“All that sticks around…” Katya spoke quietly as they began to walk again. “So I wanted to make new memories- with you. Maybe this year I won't have such a blue Christmas.” She finally broke into a small smile.

Trixie rolled her eyes and spoke quietly, opening the door with her keys, tucking them back into her jacket pocket. “You won’t. I promise.” 

They walked back up the stairs and lingered in the hallways. “You’re coming back over, right?” Katya asked. She sounded slightly unsure.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” Trixie lingered closely until Katya opened the door.

“I need to smoke…” Katya said, and she stood in the living room for a solid minute, fidgeting.

“Do you want to smoke?” Trixie asked, and Katya shook her head.

“Then drink your coffee and put on a movie, I’ll make a list for stuff we need for tomorrow.”

Katya sat down on the couch and messed with the remote until she put something on. She put her boots down on the ground, and brought her legs back up, sitting cross legged.

Trixie sat down beside her and watched her girlfriend stare at the screen. She chewed on the inside of her mouth for a moment, thinking. 

“Can you humor me and come closer?” She asked. And Trixie knew she wasn’t asking for herself.

Katya nodded and moved over, her knees pointed towards her. Trixie found her hand and squeezed it gently, figuring that it probably wasn’t the time to talk, but that she at least knew what was going on. She doubted she could fix it, but at least she knew what was going on. And Trixie could micromanage this party so that Katya didn’t have to do anything but enjoy herself. 

Trixie opened the notes app on her phone and typed what they needed out, occasionally squeezing Katya’s hand again to get her attention so she could specify how much alcohol Trixie had to go buy.

The morning moved by slowly, and by the end of it, she’d accumulated a guest list for both of them, and had taken Katya’s phone and was texting the people the other woman had invited. Katya had leaned her head on her shoulder a while back, and Trixie didn’t want her to ever leave. She did the same on her phone, tossing it to the side and wrapping one of her arms around Katya.

. . . 

“Do you want to come to the liquor store with me?” Trixie asked after a very long time, it was becoming later than late afternoon. Katya had moped for most of the day. Trixie had tempted her with cookies from the pantry and she’d shrugged her away, only holding her arms out again to get her to come back.

“Yeah,” Katya said, and she looked over at Trixie, her eyes less wide than usual, she smiled just slightly.

Trixie leaned down to put on her shoes again, glancing over as her girlfriend had done the same. “You feeling any better?”

She nodded and shrugged. “Thanks for dealing with me.”

Trixie scoffed and stood up, finding her jacket and putting it on, bending down to pull the cuffs on her jeans down. “That’s my job. And I enjoy it quite a lot.”

Katya looked at her for a long moment, unblinking, her hair had gotten messed up, and her bangs were getting long, falling just at her eyebrows. Trixie wanted to fix the slight smear of her her lipstick that was bleeding around the left corner of her mouth.

“Really, thank you.” Katya said softly, and she held her gaze for a long moment,

“Of course.” Trixie said sincerely. She smiled. So did Katya, one of the few of their afternoon and evening. She took a breath, grabbing her jacket from the couch and putting it on over her t-shirt.

The light was fading as they left the apartment, and walking down the street in the darkening city would have been concerning to Trixie if they hadn’t been together. Katya linked their arms again and they walked to the liquor store in comfortable silence. She figured Katya was suffering from withdrawal, as well as whatever emotional stuff was rumbling around in her mind.

She focused on the sound of Katya’s boots on the sidewalk, and on the street lights that washed everything gold and yellow. On the trees that had long been bare, and whose leaves scattered in the wind. Trixie bumped Katya’s shoulder when she felt her float off, the silence becoming too quiet, without the sound of her girlfriend humming softly, and without the feeling of her arm tightening when a car passed too closely on the street.

It was only a ten minute walk. And soon they were in the little store, grabbing a couple bottles of vodka and two of the cheapest wine because Katya insisted that she hated the former. And with each of them holding a large paper bag, they made their way back to the familiar red brick building, with the door that had to be shoved just a bit, the squeaky stairs, and the lighting that made everything look awful. But Trixie still was relieved when Katya unlocked the entrance, and walked to the kitchen in the dark apartment, expertly avoiding walking into the couch. Trixie almost tripped but didn’t, considering herself lucky after avoiding that.

Katya pulled her jacket off and let it be tossed aside. Trixie could tell she was still not being herself. She hadn’t made an offensive comment almost all day. And Trixie was finding it increasingly worried. Especially because she hadn’t caught it until today. How long had Katya been brooding? How long had she been not seeing it...

Katya looked lost for a moment. Standing in the kitchen, her jacket on the table. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was looking out the window, her fingers fumbling with the latch until she could push it open. She lingered in the cold air, a fragile silhouette against the city lights.

Trixie stood back for as long as she could stand, before walking forward and standing behind her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her waist, Katya dug her nails into her skin gently, and she leaned her head back against her shoulder, looking at her with wide eyes.

She leaned her head down just slightly and kissed the other woman. Katya turned away from the window and faced her, wrapping her arms around her neck, tangling her hands in her hair when their lips met again. Katya kissed her. Hard. Her knee pushed between her own, and Trixie somehow got off her jacket, breathing in the hot air between them as the cold bit at her arms.

“Bed-“ Trixie breathed against Katya’s lips, and the other woman managed a nod, pushing back against her, hands on her hips, fingertips digging into her skin as they walked back to the bedroom.

Katya was pushing her back, her knees hit the bed, and she kept moving, seated in her lap, her thighs straddling Trixie’s legs. 

She kissed her, hard, again, biting down on her lower lip until Trixie swore she could almost taste blood. It could’ve been her girlfriend, with her chapped lips, but she couldn’t tell. 

Trixie made a small sound humming against Katya’s lips as she somehow pulled the hem of her shirt up, tossing it to the side when she could properly see her, with her pupils dilated, lipstick thoroughly smeared, a glint in her eye that let Trixie know exactly what night they were going to have.

So she took off her shirt too, tossing it to the side and leaning back when Katya pushed her shoulders back gently, leaning down to kiss her more slowly. Trixie tightened her hands on Katya’s biceps, the other woman’s arms on either side of her head.

“You okay?” Katya asked her breathily, and Trixie nodded, looking at her flushed cheeks. “Yeah- I’m good.”

“Good…” Katya kissed her again and her lips moved to her neck, biting gently at her skin. Trixie whined softly and Katya shushed her softly, murmuring against her lips. 

They didn’t end up talking again until they were both breathing heavily on the bed, the window letting in the warm light from the streetlights. Trixie had her head on Katya’s shoulder, and was lazily letting her fingers drift over the back of the other woman’s hand gently. Katya had been leaning down to kiss her forehead, squeezing her shoulder as she let out quiet sighs of content, her breath brushing her skin.

“Are you feeling better?” Trixie asked softly, and she glanced over to the side, putting her arm around Katya’s waist, moving her thumb over her warm skin.

Katya glanced over from where she’d been looking, her pupils getting larger as she gazed back at her and away from the light. She had an expression on her face that seemed slightly tired, not physically, Katya didn’t get physically tired. Emotionally probably. She’d actually talked to Trixie about her past. That had never happened, and she had a feeling that Katya hadn’t told almost anyone. She also had the suspicion that there was more to the story than she girlfriend let on.

She nodded and leaned in to kiss her softly. Katya’s hand moved to brush over her cheek gently. “Because of you, кукла.” She said quietly, smiling just slightly. Trixie could hear the light teasing in her tone, even if there was also some sentiment.

Trixie reached out and took Katya’s hand, squeezing it, the other woman’s fingers were cold. She leaned in and kissed her slowly, not pulling away until she had to breathe.

“You look tired.” Trixie murmured, when she looked at her. Katya had leaned back against the pillows. She reached a hand over and ran her fingers through Trixie’s hair gently, her nails on her scalp in a way that made her close her eyes for a moment, letting out a sigh.

Trixie could hear the smile before she saw it as Katya responded. 

“So do you.”

Trixie blinked her eyes open meeting her gaze with a half hearted glare.

“Raccoon.”

Katya rolled her eyes and turned on her side, putting her around her easily, tugging the comforter up so that it actually did some good.

“You don’t want to know how good you look, baby.” Katya said slightly jokingly. But she leaned over and kissed her cheek, and that made up for it. Almost. But Trixie didn’t have the energy to get up and fix the makeup situation. She didn’t feel like it. She was tired. Katya was finally acting like Katya. After a heated evening she was smiling and laughing, even if it was at her residual makeup. Apparently, that was all it took. Trixie getting fucked into the bed and Katya enjoying littering her neck with marks that might bruise. Well worth it.

Trixie turned on her side too, away from the other woman, sighing quietly as she got comfortable. She could hear some cars on the street below, and the echo of a siren. Somehow that only helped to further lull her into relaxing, her breath evening out into rhythmic hums that were followed identically by the body against her own. She could feel Katya’s hand just below the swell of her chest, limp fingers against her bare skin. 

The night came for them both. For once the two of them fell asleep together. Trixie didn’t reflect in the dark. Katya held no cigarette between her lips. They merely slept together amongst the noise of the city, warm light dancing on the bed sheets.


End file.
